Tribe Designation: Canooks
Current Residence: Vagina sized apartment
Occupation: Extra on Borat.
Personal Claim to Fame: Tongue out, finger up. Works for posing for photos, self sexy time, etc.
Inspiration in Life: Bridget. This chick is everything I aspire to be when I grow up. She knows what to say at the right moment to make everyone feel better, she knows how to rearrange the positioning of your fingers to make you feel everyone up better and she likes her potatoes scalloped.
Hobbies: Cucumbers <3<3 Also flaming noobs, Easter egg hunts on Yom Kippur and singing Weird Al on karaoke night.
Pet Peeves: Anti.
3 Words to Describe You: Um, female sheep
SURVIVOR Contestant You Are Most Like: Most likely BobDawg. We both have awesome upper body strength and I have been known to absolutely smash the fuck out of a fish head (I am looking at you, 1997 Vancouver regionals). Also I have a sexy as goatie.
Reason for Being on SURVIVOR: I need to be on Survivor because I have needed an adventure for a very long time. When CBS were like, 'Dude. you wanna come to Manila and play a game for 1 mill?', I was like hell to the yes. It was too good of an opportunity to turn down. Plus Penner promised me an arm wrestling match on Twitter 7 months ago and he never lived up to his word. I will finally get to confront him about it.
Why You Think You’ll “Survive” SURVIVOR: My beard will be long and shiny, so everyone will want to see that progress and they will not vote me out.
Why You Think You Will Be the Sole SURVIVOR: I worked with the US government. I know how to work with dumbarses.