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EPISODE 1: THEY'RE BACK



IM REALLY PISSED WHILE I WRITE THIS BECAUSE I HAVE DONE IT *THREE* TIMES AND ITS BEEN DELETED BY ACCIDENT EVERY SINGLE TIME BECAUSE OF THE STUPID SHIT ON MY COMPUTER GETTING IN THE WAY AND ME ACCIDENTLY CLICKING SHIT AND TAKING MYSELF OFF SUCKS SO IM GONNA MAKE IT A LOT MORE BRIEF NOW SRRY.

Anyways. That's right, they are back ! and i guess this season must have had a lot of hype, considering survivor was still popular and cool and it had never had an all stars season before and people really were excited to see there favos again + amber. In fact it must have been really hyped up that CBS gave us this intense ass intro with helicopters to keep americas attention (because everythings cooler with helicopters :welp:) and i guess it proved that CBS did once care about spoilers.. right? anyways here it was:



so LOLZBEASTS. any ways speaking of intros, the intro theme song for this season is really unique in that it combines all the other 7 intros in one. I think it sounds really awesome and they should do that way more imo.

Anyways, this episode was so weirdly edited, in the fact that it was almost 75% confessionals. Seriously, for the first 1/2 of the episode, it seemed like for every 10 seconds of camp life footage they had, they had like 3 confessionals. it was crazy, but it meant EVERYONE GOT A CONFESSIONAL OMG even amber. and like it proves that you can have 18 people in the game, give everyone a confessional, and still focus in on certain characters like Rob. (RI )

Speaking of Rob, this whole episode was practicallky shoving chapera down our throats, plus 2 seconds of mogo mogo richard-needs-to-go-scenes and 2 seconds of jenna L being the HBIC at saboga. Like CBS obviously planned it out so that they had all the big personalities on ONE SINGLE TRIBE, and put no winners so that there were no obvious easy targets for them. CBS plotting for drama so easily <3 but yeah from like the first day chapera was already fighting. They started off by complaining about SUE (such an amazing hag <3) not doing anything but just bitching and about her drinking the water and etc etc <3 it was just so lulz. Then there's Rob being like "WELP i think we need to make the shelter comfier because it hurt romber's back !" and alicia being like "ROMBER WAS COMPLAINGING ABOUT THE FLOOR OF THE SHELTER WHEN WE STILL NEED TO FOCUS ON FIREE!!!! " meanwhile Amber sits there like �and Tom's just like "there both crazy" or something.. i couldn't tell he can't really speak ya no.

Also, alicia was the first personal to acknolwedge that rob had amber in his pocket, which was prompltly followed by the CREATION OF ROMBER SCENE, which in this day and age is practically like the nativity scene for jeff because for him it's when he orgasmed 20000 times at once over such an *awesome* alliance. And while i admit rob has this lovable charm about him.. i still

Anyways. OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE GOD-LIKE

JERRI MANTHEY
omg she was such a GLAM GODDESS the whole episode even though she wasn't THAT involved. wanting to vote out tina because tina doesnt like her <3 all her glam shots <3 being jlews bff <3 and then of course there was this glorious interchange where the saboga tribe walks in for the challenge, and jerri sees colby and shes like
�while colbys like

SO LULZBEASTS �<3 jerrbear love forever <3 and alol at her totally getting her wishes because tina got voted out. such a strategy goddessa <3

SHII ANN
even though mogo mogo was barely in this episode, shii ann cleary shone in comparison to everyone else. like, you may hate her but she is a star. Running up to jenna and kathy because she wants to be included and looking like a flopping chicken <3 �asking lex if she can do anything because she was bored of doing nothing �<3 her glorious "this game is gonna be interesting" quote after seeing richard naked �<3 being a glam goddess the whole episode <3 being a strategy goddess telling us about how she thinks richard is a threat <3 LOVE HER <3

RUDY
such a hilarious old man, i never even knew. Trying to use a bow to start fire (cuz its the right way) only for the bow to snap <3 wanting to just straight up drink the water <3 wondering if he was magellean <3 saying its ok to drink the water because he wants the other team to die <3 forming an alliance with poopert as hes a strategy god <3 so luzlbeast <3

THIS WAS A VERY GOOD EPISODE and i'm honestly quite excited to watch the rest of the episode. haters of this season



each episode i'm gonna include who the STAR of the episode was. For this episode, it was pretty much a huge tie between rob M , sue and rudy, but i settled on rob M because he's more forced down our throats than rudy and sue. such a good epi <3 such awful edgic <3

k nupage