Yuku free message boards

This goddess was on Season 1 of Real Chance of Love for about 2.3 seconds before she was eliminated, but her legacy as a highly entertaining crazy person remains in my memory to this day and it’s just amazing enough to get her onto this list. As those of you familiar with any or all of the trashy Vh1 dating shows know, each season begins with the contestants getting assigned a nickname from the girl or guy they sign up to “pursue”. In Stalker’s case, that guy was one of these idiots:

Stalker, for whatever reason, was totally obsessed with Chance (left), and, inspired by repulsive clock-wearer Flava Flav, brought a clock into the house to give to Chance which, iirc (it’s been a while), he later threw up against a wall and broke or something because turns out he isn’t a Flava Flav fan. She was then given the nickname “Stalker” because Chance thought she was creepy. He later eliminated her at the end of the first episode because she wouldn’t stop following him around, lulz. Then, at the reunion show, she brought another clock to give to him which read “Time to Come Out” and gave that one to him too . So epically scorned <3

She now has a Youtube channel that I found while doing this write-up which features her alone in her room inappropriately shaking her ass to classics like “Fergilicious” and “Crazy in Love” while deep-throating phallic-shaped foods. I’m so glad to see she’s moved on to better things. Gj on making #100 girl.

99. Keasha
(A Shot at Love, Season 1)


Yes, she is as crazy as she looks in this pic.

For those of you who haven't seen it, ASAL is basically the epitome of trashy television. Honestly I can't decide if it's worse than all the "...of Love" shows though because they're all just so bad. So with that said, Keasha is on this list

The second reason she’s on my list is that when Tila had her totally weird “everyone dress up in strange outfits and try to make them sexual” competition, Keasha wore like one piece of caution tape and a tool belt. Then she proceeded to make a sexual pun that even confused Tila Tequila. She also got a “hey gurl hey” in during the competiton too <3 Such a trend-setter. To abruptly end this write-up I will now present you with footage of Keasha (that may potentially be damaging to your IQ but it just might be worth the risk):

http://www.youtube.com/wa...YIhU&feature=related

98. Diane Henry

(Big Brother 5; Big Brother 7)

K so here’s where this countdown kind of starts for real since the first two were mostly “omg I remember these psychos, this ranking will be nothing without them” posts that I did for funsies. Going through all the reality shows I had to and clicking through all the seasons and scrolling through all the contestants was pretty tedious, and most of the shows I hadn’t seen in years and I couldn’t remember everyone, so the pickings were actually slimmer than I thought they'd be, especially with me having to choose 100 girls. So Diane any many others coming up will probably be only kind of awesome to me. I just like her enough that it’d feel wrong not to include her on this list, but I don’t like her enough to be like “omg Diane <3333” and totally gush over how flawless she is. I did like that she was a great strategic player in BB5 and I was rooting for her to win by the F3 even though I already knew Drew won.

Ugh look what she caused tho

My only reasons to really dislike her are that she let her showmance with Drew wreck her game and she also apparently was going to F2 with him until she pointed out to him that she’d be able to beat him in the finals…seriously, wtf Diane. Because of you Cowboy got 2^nd place instead of his rightful Enzo/Adam-esque “useless person" boot at 3rd. Just for that you should actually probably not make this list, but w/e. After Lori Valenti left Diane was like the hottest girl on BB5 to me tho so props to her for that. I don’t really have much more to say about Diane since she wasn’t impressive in All-Stars but gj for getting invited back I guess? She sticks out enough to me to just barely make it here, but not enough to end up any higher. Congrats on 98 Diane.

Spoilers for next three:

Honestly most of my love for Jaime is more of an obligatory love since I feel the need to defend her to people who think she's an idiot. A lot of people give Jaime a hard time for the way she was voted out, but tbh idgi. Maybe I’m just biased because I enjoyed her as a person. But out of all the fake idols played, Jaime’s was probably the most legit imo. At least she didn’t mistake a stick for an idol like Jason did. She had a pretty good idea of what the idol looked like, grabbed something that turned out to be exactly the same thing except it didn’t have “HEY THIS IS AN IDOL” written on it, and then played it when she knew she was screwed if she didn’t. Not bad lbr. If anything her big mistake was thinking James was stupid enough to leave an idol lying on the ground for anyone to find, and I don’t know James irl but I’m thinking I might make that same mistake too if I were ever on Survivor with him tbh. I mean he ended up getting voted out with two idols and has even referred to himself several times as "the dumbest Survivor ever", so he can’t be that smart. So Jaime, I still <3 you and I don’t think you’re as dumb as everyone else does.

Jaime was also bffs with Peih-Gee so clearly she also has good taste, she married Erik so once again, good taste, and I could totally relate to her when she was all lulzy at the TC where they voted Aaron out because I would’ve done the same thing. Take that, Probst; your twist was dumb anyway. Jaime <3

(Rock of Love, Season 1; Charm School, Season 2; I Love Money, Season 1)

that last pic

I’m gonna be honest. I hardly remember a thing about this train wreck from Rock of Love other than that she was a train wreck, so I’ll keep that part and most of this write-up simple. Brandi C made her television debut on the original Rock of Love to let herself be wooed by Bret Michaels; unfortunately she wasn’t on the same season as her true soulmate Megan Hauserman but thankfully they were eventually brought together by Charm School instead <333

Brandi made it to like episode three on RoL or something where she won a date with Bret, who then obvy realized how insane she was after getting to know her and booted her ass out of there with a quickness. But lucky for Brandi her insanity is what makes her so appealing to me and obviously to the casting ppl for I Love Money because she made that show despite being an early boot on RoL and only doing relatively well on Charm School. She and bff Megan Hauserman from RoL2 - who was booted before Brandi on Charm School which made Brandi so upset that she threatened to quit and wouldn't give Megan’s dog to the producers, lol - then took turns tormenting and being tormented by Toastee and Pumkin, who they then eventually formed a secret alliance with . That of course lasted like 2 seconds and then they all turned on each other lol. Eventually Brandi C’s time to go came, and she did it in the best way possible: sacrificing herself by legit following through and quitting this time when it became clear that the blatantly more-goddesslike Megan was going to be eliminated instead. For that reason, Brandi makes number 96 <3

95. Frederique van der Wal

(The Mole, Season 3)

Am I the only person who had no idea who she was before she was on Celebrity Mole aka Season 3? Anyway, the reason I’m including her on this list is because she was the mole on her season and she was the most epic mole ever. I watched her season unspoiled and I totally thought it was the squirrely guy who ended up getting second place; I never suspected Frederique for a second. And neither did anyone else, which is what makes her so epic. Nobody voted for her on the quizzes until the F3, when Kathy Griffin and Squirrelly Guy both evidently realized at the same time that it had been innocent foreign Frederique the whole time. I’m pretty sure even the best overall mole ever (imo), the Mole from the 3^rd season of the Australian version (I probably should’ve included those seasons on this list as a matter of fact but oh well, my ranking’s pretty much done so too late) had a couple people suspect it was him/her (I won't spoil it) somewhere along the line. Frederique was still in the game in the F4 with three other people who all suspected each other but not her which is totally lulzy to me since you would think it wouldn’t be that hard to figure out when you get down to so few people. I guess it could only happen on a Celeb edition.

Anyway Frederique you’re on this list because I love that you fooled everyone and I also loved that one time you pretended you couldn’t understand English during the first challenge ("Give me some leetway!") and nobody realized that you were actually just sabotaging them, lol. You show those racist Americans <333

Spoiler [+]

The least amazing member of an amazing pre-ASS Survivor alliance, a BB contestant notorious for her laugh, and a Survivor girl on this ranking who was a pre-ASS early boot