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✯ Lopevi ✯



Name Meaning: an island in Vanuatu with a volcano. My guess is that it's a fat dormant volcano.

ew so fat. Despite what everyone will probably think, I don't hate Lopevi because they're a tribe of men, I hate Lopevi because they're an unattractive tribe of men. The main purpose of the men on these shows is to be hot and if you can't even pull that off then what's the point? honestly.

The storyline of Vanuatu is interesting because the show starts off with the men of Lopevi being like worshiped in this ridiculous ceremony by these obese tribes people (fatties gotta stick together I guess) while the women had to sit to the side and observe in fury. And then Lopevi went on to be dominated by the women <3 Unfortunately one of them still won but if we overlook that small stain on the season the storyline is pretty epic.

We'll go over its pitiful members (in order of how much I despise them):

• Chris - I mean, seriously? Terrible winner, terrible personality, terrible body... I just can't. Apparently to everyone who watches this show, being in the minority at the merge and then going on to be in the finals is super impressive and makes you an awesome winner but I've decided NOT SO MUCH. Chris was actually not a good player at all. After he embarrassingly lost his tribe the first IC, Sarge decided it was crucial that they vote off the young people before they could realize how worthless all the fatties were and so they did. Chris was just kind of included in that alliance. THEN he voted out John Kenny instead of Julie like he should have even though John was like delusional in thinking he and Chris were bffs. And then demanding that Julie/Twila vote how he tells them to @ the merge when he's completely at their mercy? Chris survived the male slaughter because he was both the fattest and thus least offensive to the women and by the time they had picked off all the other men, so much hostility had been bred between the girls that Chris was pulled in to make a move and then was able to run with the game b/c of how much the women hated each other from that point out. I mean there's even a confessional where he describes that he really doesn't have to do anything because women will just be women and self-sabotage. =/
  
• Sarge - Sarge is kind of funny a little bit but mostly really obnoxious. His OTT bitching about what every single person does/says around camp got REALLY tired REALLY quickly and I just can not with that American flag shirt he showed up to the reunion with. You still got 9th place for sucking and no amount of patriotism is going to change that twatface! >:{
• Bubba - all I really remember about Bubba is that he spent FOREVER whining about his sons up until the point where he was finally CRUSHED by Queen Ami who had caught him begging his former tribe members to save him.
  
• Brook - ugh WUT is wrong with his face?
• John P - my favorite John P moment was when he was on a different show, Solitary 2. He lost.
• Chad - Chad, much like the legless cast members that would follow him, was super boring and uninspiring. He had a really vaguely gay and bitchy voice but it definitely did not match his personality.
• Brady - Brady makes it this high up for being hot (but not even that hot =/)
• Rory - when I re-watched Vanuatu I was told to expect Rory to be hilarious (thnx Rolo -_-) but that moment never really happened for me and instead I thought he was just an aggro old fatty but that at least makes him slightly better than everyone else on his tribe. His feud with Ami was a highlight of the season and the merge vote coming down to him or Ami could not have been more perfect. And it couldn't have turned out better, either ^_^
• John K - I never got the John K hype before I re-watched but he's hilariously stupid and said exactly what I was thinking: "Why are we letting a bunch of fat guys run the game?" idk John, idk.
  

There's nobody from Lopevi that I truly cared about though and overall they sucked. The older guys were fat and obnoxious and the younger guys were boring and butter-faced and I'm just not having it.