This quote deserves to start off the thread.
-StopLurking
Remote's Biography of The One and Only:
Cuauhtemoc Jayne Cosby was born in a small fishing village in eastern Thailand. The daughter of a closeted zoophilist mail carrier and a transgendered high school janitor, she spent the earliest years of her childhood collecting tadpoles from a sweetwater pond located near her family's humble one-bedroom cottage.
Cosby was always notorious for her deep affection towards animals. At a time when birth control was unheard of and Elisabeth Hasselback was a much happier woman, the tadpoles Cosby nursed into adult-sized frogs helped her mother in feeding a growing family of seventeen.
At the age of seven Cosby matriculated into the Yasser Institute for the Improvement of World Health under a full scholarship, due largely to her yet unexplained ability to distill water with her nasal cavity.
When she was only eighteen years old Cosby left the institute to pursue a career in Marketing. A successful campaign for Glade Air-Freshener Scented Tampons caught the eye of polish multi-milionnaire Katarzyna Rocha, who adopted Cosby as an apprentice and fathered her first child, Rochester Milo Cosby-Rocha. Two years later the Cosby gave birth to triplets Yulia, Yamin and Yuzma Cosby-Rocha.
A history of domestic abuse eventually drew Cosby away from Rocha. Dragging a single, empty suitcase and four children by the ear, she made a living on the streets of Saint Saladino, CA, working as a handmaid to the reincarnation of the nubian princess Aida as she struggled to feed a quartet of hungry mouths.
At the precocious age of five, Rochester Milo passed away from a mysterious dog bite to the jugular, much speculated to have taken place as he followed his mother into princess Aida's private powder room. Devastated, Cosby deemed herself unfit to raise any more children and sold the triplets to the Black Market in exchange for a one-way ticket to London.
In London, Cosby met and fell in love with D-List comedienne Kathy Griffin. Kathy's low celebrity profile helped catapult Cosby into semi-stardom and triggered the beginning of an underground cult of followers. Swamped by paparazzi, Cosby reached world renown when she saved a family from Zimbabwe from dying of thirst on a beach by desalinizing a jar of ocean water using her gifted nostrils. Further acclaim arrived when she stopped a giant slug attack on Sudan by covering the attackers in salt buildup.
Today, Cosby and Griffin have settled down and lead a normal life in their Little Nottingham cottage with their three-year-old adopted son Ydoop Cosby-Griffin. Her hobbies include knitting, clothes shopping, Q-tipping and show-dog breeding. She currently works for Old Navy Apparel, Inc., and is solely responsible for those dreadful David Hasselhoff adverts. In her spare time she enjoys canoing, toenail clipping and posting at Survivor Sucks.
You admit pieces of shit for making this the fucking fuckiest April Fucking Fools Day ever ruining my day fucking fuckers.
Lots of love.
Quote:
You proudly proclaim that you're a mother of 3, and then sit for hours on the internet, most likely neglecting your kids while doing so. Wouldn't you be proud if one of your children saw the way you express yourself here?
Loser.
-StopLurking
Remote's Biography of The One and Only:
Cuauhtemoc Jayne Cosby was born in a small fishing village in eastern Thailand. The daughter of a closeted zoophilist mail carrier and a transgendered high school janitor, she spent the earliest years of her childhood collecting tadpoles from a sweetwater pond located near her family's humble one-bedroom cottage.
Cosby was always notorious for her deep affection towards animals. At a time when birth control was unheard of and Elisabeth Hasselback was a much happier woman, the tadpoles Cosby nursed into adult-sized frogs helped her mother in feeding a growing family of seventeen.
At the age of seven Cosby matriculated into the Yasser Institute for the Improvement of World Health under a full scholarship, due largely to her yet unexplained ability to distill water with her nasal cavity.
When she was only eighteen years old Cosby left the institute to pursue a career in Marketing. A successful campaign for Glade Air-Freshener Scented Tampons caught the eye of polish multi-milionnaire Katarzyna Rocha, who adopted Cosby as an apprentice and fathered her first child, Rochester Milo Cosby-Rocha. Two years later the Cosby gave birth to triplets Yulia, Yamin and Yuzma Cosby-Rocha.
A history of domestic abuse eventually drew Cosby away from Rocha. Dragging a single, empty suitcase and four children by the ear, she made a living on the streets of Saint Saladino, CA, working as a handmaid to the reincarnation of the nubian princess Aida as she struggled to feed a quartet of hungry mouths.
At the precocious age of five, Rochester Milo passed away from a mysterious dog bite to the jugular, much speculated to have taken place as he followed his mother into princess Aida's private powder room. Devastated, Cosby deemed herself unfit to raise any more children and sold the triplets to the Black Market in exchange for a one-way ticket to London.
In London, Cosby met and fell in love with D-List comedienne Kathy Griffin. Kathy's low celebrity profile helped catapult Cosby into semi-stardom and triggered the beginning of an underground cult of followers. Swamped by paparazzi, Cosby reached world renown when she saved a family from Zimbabwe from dying of thirst on a beach by desalinizing a jar of ocean water using her gifted nostrils. Further acclaim arrived when she stopped a giant slug attack on Sudan by covering the attackers in salt buildup.
Today, Cosby and Griffin have settled down and lead a normal life in their Little Nottingham cottage with their three-year-old adopted son Ydoop Cosby-Griffin. Her hobbies include knitting, clothes shopping, Q-tipping and show-dog breeding. She currently works for Old Navy Apparel, Inc., and is solely responsible for those dreadful David Hasselhoff adverts. In her spare time she enjoys canoing, toenail clipping and posting at Survivor Sucks.
You admit pieces of shit for making this the fucking fuckiest April Fucking Fools Day ever ruining my day fucking fuckers.
Lots of love.
