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Jericho Season 2 Episode 4 Recrap

This week's episode: Crunching The Numbers

PREVIOUSLY ON .. JERICHO: Millions died across America. Jericho survived at first. Then, some old guy froze to death. Doc April died. Doc April's unborn baby died. Old Mare Gray got shot, although for better or worse, he didn't die. The not quite as lucky Ex-Hizzoner died.

Tonight's lovefest opens with FarmBoy receiving a bottle of hooch from Dale, as a token of appreciation, for letting Dale run contraband through the Richmond farm. Dunno if they were in one of the pushpin cities, but Hallmark is apparently out of business in the Apocalypse. Too bad. Think of the creative "Thank You" card Dale and Skylar could have sent to Farmboy, Revernooer Lady and DeafGirl: We know things are gloomy since the bombs ruined our nation. But please accept this small token of our appreciation. Come to think of it, a bottle of cheap booze is probably better.

Cut to Honcho, doing what he does best: Spreading the love. He posts it on the door of Dale's store and gives a lovely soliloquoy about criminals, corruption, cows and cabbages. Dale's a criminal. And his head? More like a cabbage than a cow. But keep that "corruption" word in mind when the plotline comes full circle.

Starting early tonight is Subplot #1, which last season would have been the main plotline: Hawkins gets a call from a "Dr. Smith", the same Dr. Smith who called Hawkins last week about his package. Dr. Smith has lots of secrets to share. For one, Hawkins is a day from being caught. Oh, the pain. The pain. In the end, Dr. Smith says he wants the truth to come out. You see, Dr. Smith wrote the post-bomb "Continuity Plan" which is now being carried out by J&R.

I have it on good authority that tonight's Morse Code intro has something to do with making a very, very bad trade.

At Jerri Manthey's bar, the townies have a meeting about starting a revolution. President Ralph Macchio had cameras put all over town, but the writers want us to think the whole town is having a secret meeting. Rrrriiiiggghhhttt. Emily the Teacher/Veterinarian/CesarChavezWannabe says something about stamp taxes and tea parties. Hey, Emily! I've seen that new history book the ASA is passing out, and there ain't gonna be no stinkin' tea parties. You wouldn't be talking "Revolution" would you?� FarmBoy's having none of it, because as he says, this ain't no Red Dawn. Speaking here as a fan of that trite little cold war allegory, I'm not so sure. J&R controls the supply, J&R controls the currency. Oh, and loose lips are always a problem when you invite everybody to a meeting. Some scaredycat farmer gives up Dale. Surprise, surprise.

Subplot #2 must have been written by somebody in the Department of Dumb Dialogue. Hawkins wants a book. Major Becerra put it in the new safe room. Seven out of the eight people who have access to the safe room are military. One is not. The "one" is Tomboy Teacher. Jake is all "TELL ME WHAT TO DO, HAWKINS!" for no real reason, at all. Last time I checked, that "one" would have been your go-to person, Jake. Fortunately, after the commercial break, we see Tomboy Teacher talking turkey with Hawkins and Jake. Not surprisingly, Tomboy Teacher does what they ask. And not surprisingly, she gets caught. More dumb dialogue when she tells Becerra she was doing something that involved his Inbox, and he believed it. Mmmkay.

Back to the main plotline. I told you that "corruption" hint would drop again. It does. Honcho is running Jericho like a third world country, skimming from the top. A few acne scars, and he could be Noriega. Seems Mimi the new J&R Revernooer Lady noticed $10,000 of new ASA currency missing from the J&R books. "She keeps a set of books to herself, to compare to the J&R books." J&R Babe goes to Honcho, who doesn't even bother feigning surprise at the missing loot. He says he's going to "look into this, right away," and my heart goes all cold and stuff.

Lots of stuff going on at the same time in this episode. (Finally, an episode lives up to the hype of being "Action Packed!") Back at Jerri Manthey's bar, she's doing to Soldier Timmy what she failed to do with Colby Donaldson: She's working her womanly wiles. He'll help her run illegal booze. In another room across town, Tomboy Teacher volunteers to help Hawkins and Jake take a page out of Becerra's book. But first, she has to put her thumb onto the security keypad, to enter the safe room. Hawkins must be a really nice guy, because Honcho would have cut her damn thumbs off and hung them around his dogtags. Wonder what he'd do if they had a retinal scan machine? Ewwww!

More action, rapidfire. Hawkins works his manly wiles on Becerra, getting Becerra to agree to hunt down Sarah Sexpot in 'Braska. (I know they said "Nebraska" but last season it was just 'Braska and I got used to that.)� Dale gets carted away to the FedPen, as DeafGirl and Stanley look on in disbelief.� (Remember Black Jack, from last season? There are no trials in the Apocalypse. Only executions.) Becerra finds the hard drive Hawkins wanted him to find. Why does Hawkins and Becerra in 'Braska remind me of Darmok and Jelad at Tanagra? Jake demands Honcho release Dale, which is a mile or two late and a trial short. Honcho simply sneers. Remember Black Jack? We don't have trials in the Apocalypse, Jake. Only executions.

Jake, undeterred, takes a posse of three up the road to get Dale off the chain gang. Soldiers draw down on our band of merry men, threatening to blow that tarnished little Sheriff's badge right out of Jake's formerly nicotine-stained fingers. In the nick of time, Jake convinces Beck to allow Dale to be released into Jake's custody. Recalling a similar scene from Black Jack, I'm wondering why Jake still puts his cojones out there for Dale anymore. If Jake were on the chain gang, it damn sure wouldn't work the other way.

Major Becerra, after beaming back into Jericho with Hawkins (no time elapsed! none!) discovers what Hawkins wanted him to: Sarah Sexpot and Valente were all smooches before the bombs. You know that, and I know that, because we watched all twenty-something episodes. But I can't figure out how Becerra got that from a once-over of that charred hard drive. Never mind, I'll move on.

One shoe drops when Honcho invites Revernooer Lady into his office for an after-work aperitif. He quickly ditches the small talk and demands to see her accounting ledger, the one which proves the $10,000 "error." She goes all dumb and refuses. She should never have trusted his intentions. After all, everybody knows an aperitif comes before dinner! But let's be logical here: Some guy with lots of guns and tanks wants a damn book, and you say no? That set my heart all pitter-patter, because Honcho ain't a nice guy. And just as I'm thinking that ... Yowie! He's blocking the door!� Will he kick her ass?� Nope.� He wants her books, so he lets her go. It's 50 minutes past the hour, and SeeBS interrupts to give me the election results from Ohio. Somebody propped John McCain up behind the podium. When the show returns, Ravenwood is knocking at the door of the Richmond farm. Nothing seems to be going well tonight.

Honcho demands to see Mimi. Bonnie realizes S-E-E means K-I-L-L and lies, unconvincingly. Mimi hides. Ravenwood goons storm the door, but not before Bonnie blows a hole in the chest cavity of the first one. Nice touch, the smoking shotgun shell hitting the floor. Go, team, go! Another goon opens fire into the house, shooting Mimi in the upper chest, but Bonnie makes short work of his ass. A third approaches near a window, and she nails him too! But Honcho enters shooting, and as I suspected, there are too many episodes remaining in the season to kill him just yet. That means Bonnie has to die. A thud verifies her demise, as Mimi does her best to remain alive, hidden and bleeding. We can only hope that if tried, we could be as brave.

Later that evening, Stanley discovers the carnage, and summons Sheriff Jake. An ambulance carries Mimi away. Stanley cradles his beloved sister. I'll defer to the SeeBS song selection momentarily...Leave me out with the waste. This is not what I do....Give my gun away when it's loaded. If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it?

My choice would have been something more appropriate ... for Bonnie.

From 1996, Sister, by The Nixons.





Sister, I see you dancing on the stage of memories.
Sister, I miss you.
Entwined, you and I, our souls speak from across the miles
Intertwined, you and I, our blood flows from the same inside
Half of me breathes in you
Thoughts of love, remain.


NEXT TIME ON .. JERICHO: Jericho seeks justice. Honcho wants Mimi, and it's a standoff at the hospital. Will Dr. Bashir run out?� Will Jake shoot Honcho?� Will Hawkins use his package?!

I just screamed so loud, I woke up the neighbors.