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Johnny: Alright folks, welcome back to Fantasy Suite Date Night. Tonight we've got Jason and Molly. Kurt, given what we learned about Jason during Jillian's date night, do you think Molly's in for a surprise?

Kurt: Well, Johnny, let's just say I think after tonight she'll have another question to add to the list for potential suitors.

Johnny: We know Molly's a golf enthusiast. I hope she's brushed up on her "short game", if you know what I mean.

Kurt: You're killin' me Johnny. I do have to say that the over-under line in Vegas on orgasms for this Fantasy Suite Date Night is 1/2, that's gotta tell you something, doesn't it Johnny?

Johnny: Well, Molly is a bit of a cold fish in the intimacy deparment.

Kurt: Not really a "hot shimp on the bah-bee, aye mite?

Johnny: Umm, Kurt. I think that's an Australian expression. We're in New Zealand.

Kurt: Crikey! I guess you say tomato, I say Fosters. Wait a minute, Molly's coming into the Fantasy Suite. She's headed over to the closet. Is that what I think it is, Johnny?

Johnny: It is indeed Kurt. It seems that Molly's brought THE HAT BOX.

Kurt: Good Golly!

Johnny: She's digging around in there. This could get interesting. Kurt, can you see what she's pulling out?

Kurt: Unless I'm mistaken, I think it's a Gestapo Hat! Johnny, I think we're in for a "sexy SS guard fantasy suite night".

Johnny: And that just seems wrong, Kurt.

Kurt: Yes. But also, strangely, oh so right. Let's go to a commercial break and get this sorted out.

***************

Kurt: Welcome back folks. And it is on! Molly has assumed a position that I think the kids today call the "reverse cowgirl".

Johnny: Wait a minute, Kurt. Just how do you know what the kids call it?

Kurt: Hay-O!

Johnny: Kurt, Molly's begun some sort of strange gesticulation with her arms. Could we be witnessing our first Fantasy Suite Date Night orgasm of the season?

Kurt: Tough call. Let's just say that when Special-K's on the case there's never a doubt. With Jason, who can tell.

Johnny: Alright Special-K. Save that routine for the interns. Wait a minute, what's happening now? I've never seen anything like this.

Kurt: Johnny, I don't think those are paroxsyms of pleasure we're witnessing. Molly appears to be gesturing to someone in the other room.

Johnny: This is unprecedented for a Fantasy Suite Date Night, Kurt. Molly is waving her parents in from the other room.

Kurt: I guess she was really serious about needing her parents' approval, huh?

Johnny: True that, Kurt. Haha. Let's get them over here in the booth. Mr. M, what are your thoughts on what you're seeing here tonight?

Molly's Dad: Johnny, I take back what I said during the Hometown Date. Molly has every right to cry in the limo. Hell, I'm tearing up myself.

Kurt: Mrs. M, how's about we stroll back to my trailer. I'll draw a sketch for ya. You know what they say, "what happens in Queensland, stays in Queensland."

Johnny: Uhm, Kurt? You're mike's on.

Kurt: Sorry Johnny. Anyway, Mrs. M, how are you feeling right now?

Molly's Mom: Disappointed to say the least. We get some cold winters in Michigan. I know about "shrinkage". But that boy's hung like a raisin.

Molly's Dad: I thought Mr. Fleiss promised that we could meet that guy from The Amazing Race while we were down here.

Molly's Mom: Oooo, he's cute. It looks like he's hung like a horse too. Can we get him together with Molly?

Johnny: Somehow this Fantasy Suite has turned into a Nightmare Chamber. Let's call it a night and we'll see you back for Jason's Fantasy Suite Date Night with Melissa. Toss me that puke-bucket, I'm going to hurl. Wwwwroooolf.

Molly's Dad: Hey, that's my Shriner's hat from the Hat Box.

Well, I've been enjoying the pearl-clutching and the rumor-mongering over at FORT. (Jeez, folks who take this shit seriously are just adorable, aren't they?)

Anyway, my most recent "duh" moment is that we have a pretty interesting juxtaposition in the F2, with one b'ette who insists repeatedly that her parents' approval is absolutely necessary and the other b'ette whose parents supposedly don't want anything to do with the process whatsoever.

If I had even less of a life than I do (and if I'd saved the episodes on DVR), I'd go back and check out Molly's comments about needing her parents' approval and see how many of them are in voice-over (which could've been added later) and whether there are any clues to the times she talks about it on-camera being re-shoots after principal filming ended.

Molly's comments, in particular, always struck me as strange. The b'ettes are in the role of "beggers", not "choosers" on this show, and I've rarely seen any, let alone F4s, who attempt to dictate deal-breaking conditions.

And, as far as Jason vis a vis Melissa's parents, trust me, any guy who pulls an overnight date that early in the season (Molly in the tent) and who is so blatant about wanted to test-drive the pussy on the Fantasy Suite Dates doesn't give two shits about what the girls' parents think.

If you want to throw one additional factor in, with Deanna's return: If you recall, during the Hometown Dates in Deanna's season it appeared pretty clear (or at least it was edited to suggest) that Deanna's family preferred Jason over Jesse, and that it wasn't even close. I haven't seen this suggested anywhere else, but I wouldn't be surprised if Deanna's "advice" to Jason about the "mistake" she made was that she ignored her familys' opinion, and that if it's a close call, Jason should go with whichever b'ette's family situation was better.

This will cause Jason to cry like a little bitch on the balcony because he still wants to choose Melissa (he'll say it's because she was better with Ty), but that her family situation sucks.

The first ATFR will then be Jason admitting that while he thought he was doing what was right for Ty, he also has to do what's right for himself and yada, yada, yada, Deanna was right (redemption for her!) and that he can't go on with Melissa in light of her parents' feelings.

From that point, ATFR 2 pretty much writes iteslf. Although I'm not ruling out Jason ultimately deciding to try to "see where things go" with Deanna.