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I loved Troy in Season One, but alas...he had crappy suits. It wasn't until Season Two that Wes stole my heart with his sweet, laid-back innocence and hound-dog eyes all contained within some of the best suits any male candidate has ever had on the show. <sigh>

I imagine Wes will burst into my wedding to Derek, riding the cab that he finally managed to get to himself after throwing that Mega-Twat Arm-Flailing Maria over a bridge. And then I am faced with a choice: Sweet Blonde Wes who can dress himself better than even I ever could or Hunky, Confident Derek who has the fashion sense of a color-blind Amish virgin?

(This is the cliffhanger...tune in next week for the exciting conclusion!!!)

Well, you can put your lime taffeta dress away Siggy! Derek took down the Suitsnob Shout-out shot!!! Do you think it was because when I contacted him I said "I want to lick your ass out until it's raw and I can taste your blood?" Hmmm....


(Actually, I sent him a very thorough disseration on the appropriate suits, shirts and ties for his profession and body type-no response so far. I suspect Sigvold had my Wes-Stalking Parole Officer warn him!)

OK Kids...I have to say it's hard to be modest. Only a mere 24 hours after Derek's desperate, pathetic plea for my expertise in men's businesswear there has been a complete turnaround. It took some work, but I am sure you be pleased with the results. No more Men's Wearhouse for this professional!

Special thanks to Sigvold for taking the "AFTER" photos. It's amazing how great they came out since Siggy only had one hand available to operate the camera.

First: Once again the BEFORE shot. Note the horrible choice in suit and shirt, and especially how FAT the shirt makes him look:


Even Guido Frank found his previous look revolting (and his response speaks for itself).

Now the AFTER shots:

First, here is his new corporate shot, soon to replace that awful suit and tie he is wearing on his website:


Thank goodness James' cousins the sweatshop seamstresses were able to get out this custom three-piece out so fast. It's amazing what some people will do in exchange for a bowl of rice and the threat of physical violence.

And for less formal occasions where he would still like to make a good impression:


This is what I like to think of as "SuitSnob Casual."


I must also mention Cousin Oliver's eager and enthusiastic assitance in getting Derek dressed for this shoot. I never knew that you could use or need a "fluffer" just for a fashion shot...but what a diffrence it made!

As always, if any of you guys need to dress for a job interview, wedding or court appearance I am always here.

Poor Miss Alley Shack...never drowned in a bucket of BearLust. She has no idea what she is missing. Also, look at the size of guy's HANDS...If he decided to swing and give Miss Alley a poleride she'd have one leg in LA and one leg in NYC.

(did you at leat like the nice outifts I picked out for him Miss Alley?)

Mark Harmon is hot, but SOOO not a Bear!

Tom Selleck is a big Fag, did you know that?

Brent from Season 5 is straight! There's one for you!

Are you saying that you don't like the flattering ensemble' I have crafted for the good attorney? Would he be better off dumpster-diving for discarded suits outside the Sporanos wardrobe department like Frank does?

You really have to admire Frank's determination and grit. Purging Italian food HURTS!!!