I was looking forward to this. Nice mystery with lots of tricky clues and location shots. But what a disappointment. What were they thinking with the lead?
Sorvino is one of the doggiest actresses to come down the pike in years. It would have been barely watchable if the lead babe were hot- like the nice tight
blond in National Treasure. What were the producers thinking? The CGI was pretty cheesy, too.
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Last Templar
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 victalac |
Last Templar |
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Posts: 1707 (01/26/09 7:56 AM) Registered user |
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sir debb eaton hogg |
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Posts: 359 (01/26/09 8:45 AM) I need a life |
You're right on the money.
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Craptaculous |
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Posts: 529 (01/26/09 9:51 AM) Registered User |
Story good, acting HORRENDOUS. From everybody. I can't pinpoint if it's just the delivery or if the script is off, but I thought the acting was just
bottom-of-the-barrell.
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Gregoire |
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Posts: 31078 (01/26/09 11:54 AM) Registered user |
Are you people crazy? This was craptastic, campy fun. And Mira Sorvino can actually act -- unfortunately, the dialogue is terrible, the direction lazy and the
storyline completely lame. And yet I can't wait for part two!
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StatelyWayneManor |
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Posts: 11086 (01/26/09 12:02 PM) Registered user |
Guessing she got her looks from the mom's side of the family.
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Gregoire |
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Posts: 31082 (01/26/09 12:46 PM) Registered user |
I love that cute British guy who doesn't get to do anything but have a broken arm and throw out sarcastic comments.
Best part -- when the government was somehow able to magically build a 'decoder' simply by looking at an X-Ray of it. And do it all in about a day. 2nd best part -- watching the Templars escape by boat from the burning Jerusalem, even though Jerusalem is no where even near a body of water to sail on
Last Edited By: Gregoire
01/26/09 12:50 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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Monsieur Muggles |
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Posts: 5945 (01/26/09 2:06 PM) |
I agree with Gregoire, except I actually think the story is pretty good (better than the DaVinci Code, that's for sure). What jars me most is the stupid
soundtrack.
And Jerusalem is about 15 miles from the Dead Sea, so conceivably, its not that difficult to get to a boat from Jerusalem and see something burning in the distance, although certainly not the perspective that we saw in the movie. However, having a huge sail boat out in the Dead Sea, much less an open air canal during wartime in medieval Jerusalem (there were tunnels for channeling water from springs) is creative license. |
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Gregoire |
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Posts: 31085 (01/26/09 2:10 PM) Registered user |
That was a far more intelligent response than my comment deserved, thank you.
I love that they made the character a little Carrie Bradshaw-ish for no apparent reason. Also, that hospital scene was just a lame ripoff of Kill Bill. |
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StatelyWayneManor |
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Posts: 11104 (01/26/09 2:18 PM) Registered user |
I think Bob Newhart doing karate would have helped.
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sassycece |
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Posts: 93 (01/26/09 3:41 PM) |
I watched about 20 or 30 mins of it.. I turned it.. Gawd awful..
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victalac |
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Posts: 1709 (01/26/09 4:21 PM) Registered user |
"And Jerusalem is about 15 miles from the Dead Sea, so conceivably, its not that difficult to get to a boat from Jerusalem and see something burning in
the distance,"
Are you kidding? That wave that nailed the ship had to be fifty feet high! That's wasn't the dead sea. Those cheap bastard must have cut the scene out where those dudes hoofed it to Caesarea or Ptolamais. BTW, I don't know why they had that faded blue color for the flashbacks. Looked like shit. I might watch it tonight just to see what type of lame-ass treasure they discover. But, yeah, Sorvino really sucks, like SJP. Must have been a big NBC payback for her to get a role like this. And another thing, here you've got ancient cities and the Vatican and all sorts of cool stuff involved, and half the damn show last night was in a hospital with people horsing around incognito. WTF?!! And what's with the kid? I hate her, and she doesn't look anything like the heroine. In fact, I bet a big star bailed out of this turkey at the last minute, and Sorvino was called in as a replacement. Yep. Has to be it. |
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Baulder |
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Posts: 368 (01/26/09 5:55 PM) Registered user |
sir debb eaton hogg wrote: Nobody would say this if they had seen Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion. The dance scene alone deserved some type of critical recognition. |
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TimmyTAR |
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Posts: 1668 (01/26/09 6:37 PM) Registered user |
I could not watch this for the simple fact of the voiceover guy in the commercials. It's pronouced "tem-PLAHR" not "tem-plur." Is the
title "The Last Templer?" Didn't think so.
And from the looks of what you guys are saying, it's a good thing I didn't watch this shitfest. |
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VolumeOn |
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Posts: 1165 (01/26/09 7:28 PM) Registered user |
Whoever casted her obviously is in lust with her. All about the shoes just so the camera can focus on her legs. Yeah, they're going to find a fabulous treasure but will leave it there to save the world...or whatever. The writing could've been soooo much better. |
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Gregoire |
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Posts: 31092 (01/26/09 8:38 PM) Registered user |
This show is so fabulously bad. It's like Fool's Gold meets a late-night version of Indiana Jones. Special props to Victor Garber as an evil monsignor.
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victalac |
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Posts: 1714 (01/26/09 10:28 PM) Registered user |
The only cool thing about this show was the Vatican private jet.
What a cheap-ass show. The budget was probably cut 70 percent a quarter of the way into filming. Didn't spend much on extras, did they? Didn't even pop for some underwater scenes. They modified the old Moby Dick set for the storm.You could just barely see guys throwing buckets of water around off-camera. And the treasure? Couldn't even afford three guys at Sun Microstations CGI'[ing up stacks of gold and jewels. A lost Gospel? Big whoop. Been done before. Gonna be tough for Sorvino to find work after this. That's the GOOD news. |
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QuiltRicky |
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Posts: 754 (01/26/09 11:28 PM) |
this movie is real worst than "Glitter"
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sugarsmummy |
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Posts: 101 (01/27/09 2:07 AM) Registered user |
Whoever is responsible for this should have to attend daily catechism classes for the next year. Tess praying at the seashore? Tess waving around a
manuscript supposedly written by Jesus Christ and then just tossing it into the water? My goodness what a shitfest this was. 3.25 hours of my life I
won't get back. (.75 was spent skipping commercials so that doesn't really count.) Didn't they see National Treasure? The answers were right
there written on the Declaration of Independence. What a bunch of maroons.
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sir debb eaton hogg |
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Posts: 363 (01/27/09 8:40 AM) I need a life |
The bigger question is how do all these people survive that kind of shipwreck?
And how if you have some sort of coma going on, can you actually swim to shore, given the storm. |
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Gregoire |
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Posts: 31098 (01/27/09 9:01 AM) Registered user |
The entire miniseries could have been condensed into a one-hour show and it would have been somewhat enjoyable.
Scene after stupid scene of them driving around a 'desert' looking for the sacred site. It's really striking how this made it onto TV. I really watched the whole thing, because I was fascinated that such sloppy television could have made prime-time on a major network. Even late-night USA Network TV from the late 80s was better written and produced. This makes Tia Carrere's Relic Hunter seem like Masterpiece Theatre. If you'll notice, NBC broadcast it this week, instead of in February for sweeps. They probably spent money on it, realized how awful it was, then scheduled it where it would do the least damage. And I had actually read that they hoped to make this into a regular series. Though, to be truthful, would it be worse than Knight Rider?
Last Edited By: Gregoire
01/27/09 9:04 AM.
Edited 1 times.
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SusanJay |
Last Templar | ||
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Posts: 2020 (01/27/09 9:06 AM) Registered user |
I had SO many problems with this program, starting with the weird pronunciation of "Templar" and ending with the furry thing on Scott Foley's
head. Did Donald Trump consult with Rod Blagoyavich for this hairstyle? I guess I am too used to Foley's military buzz-cut he sports for "The
Unit".
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