And you guys say that we never get our hands on a true spoiler
Well, guess what? A true spoiler just happens to have fallen into my lap! But I
need you to keep it a secret because theres going to be a certain reality TV host
who wont be too happy about this. Ladies and gentlemen of the MESS TRIBAL
COUNCIL, I present to you three pages torn directly from The Diary of Mr. Jeff
Probst:
December 9, 2001
Day 28 on the island.
I woke up this morning in a great mood. I had a really funny dream last night
that Mark and I were on holiday in a ski lodge in Vermont, and we talked and he
laughed at all my jokes. I woke up with a big smile on my face. I picked my blue
shirt to wear today because I wore my beige one yesterday. Luckily I washed my
khaki shorts so I can wear them again today. That jerky associate producer told
me I had to get to the beach in time to explain the challenge to my co-stars. I
hate him so much sometimes. On my way past the food truck, I think I saw Mark
eating a bagel, but Im not sure.
Well, anyways, I went to the beach to learn about this lame new challenge theyre
having my co-stars do. Im supposed to stand on this big floaty thing and yell
"Go". My co-stars then dove into the water and swam over to the rocks or
something and walk along the bottom of the water and stuff. I dont really
remember it very well. Finally it was over and when Tammy crossed the
finish line first, and I yelled her name, I think I strained my tongue. That
doctor guy whos always hanging around said hes got a cure for it if I want, but
that I cant tell anybody what it is. Hes sooo smart. Anyways, the prize for
this game was a day on a big boat called "The Princess". When I told them that,
that guy Sean said he though I was the Princess. I dont know what he
meant, but everybody started laughing. I laughed too, but I now think he was
making fun of me. Well, when Tammy went on the boat, she picked the quiet girl
Vecepia to go with her because it was her birthday. My birthday was last
month, and all I got was kicked by a mule.
Tonight I had low-fat popcorn for dinner because I think that princess comment was
because they think Im fat.
Always remember that you, Jeff, are the best you that you can be.
December 10, 2001
Day 29 on the island
Today I wore my beige shirt again because it finally got washed. Today was all
work, work, work. They wanted me to memorize this long story that they called
fokelore. Or something I had to read it so that my co-stars could try to win
that totally ugly necklace. I dont know why anybody would even want it!!
Anyways, after lots of hard work, I thought I had it down, but I totally forgot it
like right in
the middle and had to start again!! I made some of it up, cuz I couldnt
remember, but I dont think anyone noticed. After lots of questions and stuff, it
came down to a tie with that one who doesnt wear a bra and the one who yells and
swears lots. Finally Kathy won and she got to keep that tacky necklace for
longer. This game confuses me sometimes I told them Id see them tomorrow at
the party Im having for Mark, and they started laughing again! Theyll be there.
December 11, 2001
Day 30 on the island.
Well, nobody came to Marks party today. Not even Mark! Those dinks at the
campsite said they were too busy skeeming, and that new intern called me Princess
when I asked her where she was!! Well, I think Mark must have mixed up the dates
or something, because I saw him later with Les, that weirdo from CBS. Ill tell
him when the next one is, but three strikes and youre out, mister!! Well, maybe
four strikes Anyways, today was that big day again when I had to read those
cards and tell my co-stars whos going home. We got to the place and I asked them
questions that the writers said are "pressing". Whatever that means Well, after
they all voted, I read 6 of the votes and Tammy, that scary girl who yells
a lot went home. She swore at me under her breath when I put her torch out, which
made me burn my forearm and it still hurts!! When I was walking back to camp, I
saw Mark in the distance and I yelled hello, but he didnt hear me.
Things to do tomorrow:
1) start planning Mark's party.
2) Iron my khaki shorts
3) Look up "ultimate" in the thesaurus
__________________________________________________________________________________
Folks, I dont know if this is legit, but if so, weve got our RC & IC winners and
the next person to leave the island in these pages! For the lazy bastard in all
of us, this is the official MESS GUT in shorter, simpler form:
RC: Tammy wins, takes Vee
IC: Kathy wins
TC: Tammy loses
Well, guess what? A true spoiler just happens to have fallen into my lap! But I
need you to keep it a secret because theres going to be a certain reality TV host
who wont be too happy about this. Ladies and gentlemen of the MESS TRIBAL
COUNCIL, I present to you three pages torn directly from The Diary of Mr. Jeff
Probst:
December 9, 2001
Day 28 on the island.
I woke up this morning in a great mood. I had a really funny dream last night
that Mark and I were on holiday in a ski lodge in Vermont, and we talked and he
laughed at all my jokes. I woke up with a big smile on my face. I picked my blue
shirt to wear today because I wore my beige one yesterday. Luckily I washed my
khaki shorts so I can wear them again today. That jerky associate producer told
me I had to get to the beach in time to explain the challenge to my co-stars. I
hate him so much sometimes. On my way past the food truck, I think I saw Mark
eating a bagel, but Im not sure.
Well, anyways, I went to the beach to learn about this lame new challenge theyre
having my co-stars do. Im supposed to stand on this big floaty thing and yell
"Go". My co-stars then dove into the water and swam over to the rocks or
something and walk along the bottom of the water and stuff. I dont really
remember it very well. Finally it was over and when Tammy crossed the
finish line first, and I yelled her name, I think I strained my tongue. That
doctor guy whos always hanging around said hes got a cure for it if I want, but
that I cant tell anybody what it is. Hes sooo smart. Anyways, the prize for
this game was a day on a big boat called "The Princess". When I told them that,
that guy Sean said he though I was the Princess. I dont know what he
meant, but everybody started laughing. I laughed too, but I now think he was
making fun of me. Well, when Tammy went on the boat, she picked the quiet girl
Vecepia to go with her because it was her birthday. My birthday was last
month, and all I got was kicked by a mule.
Tonight I had low-fat popcorn for dinner because I think that princess comment was
because they think Im fat.
Always remember that you, Jeff, are the best you that you can be.
December 10, 2001
Day 29 on the island
Today I wore my beige shirt again because it finally got washed. Today was all
work, work, work. They wanted me to memorize this long story that they called
fokelore. Or something I had to read it so that my co-stars could try to win
that totally ugly necklace. I dont know why anybody would even want it!!
Anyways, after lots of hard work, I thought I had it down, but I totally forgot it
like right in
the middle and had to start again!! I made some of it up, cuz I couldnt
remember, but I dont think anyone noticed. After lots of questions and stuff, it
came down to a tie with that one who doesnt wear a bra and the one who yells and
swears lots. Finally Kathy won and she got to keep that tacky necklace for
longer. This game confuses me sometimes I told them Id see them tomorrow at
the party Im having for Mark, and they started laughing again! Theyll be there.
December 11, 2001
Day 30 on the island.
Well, nobody came to Marks party today. Not even Mark! Those dinks at the
campsite said they were too busy skeeming, and that new intern called me Princess
when I asked her where she was!! Well, I think Mark must have mixed up the dates
or something, because I saw him later with Les, that weirdo from CBS. Ill tell
him when the next one is, but three strikes and youre out, mister!! Well, maybe
four strikes Anyways, today was that big day again when I had to read those
cards and tell my co-stars whos going home. We got to the place and I asked them
questions that the writers said are "pressing". Whatever that means Well, after
they all voted, I read 6 of the votes and Tammy, that scary girl who yells
a lot went home. She swore at me under her breath when I put her torch out, which
made me burn my forearm and it still hurts!! When I was walking back to camp, I
saw Mark in the distance and I yelled hello, but he didnt hear me.
Things to do tomorrow:
1) start planning Mark's party.
2) Iron my khaki shorts
3) Look up "ultimate" in the thesaurus
__________________________________________________________________________________
Folks, I dont know if this is legit, but if so, weve got our RC & IC winners and
the next person to leave the island in these pages! For the lazy bastard in all
of us, this is the official MESS GUT in shorter, simpler form:
RC: Tammy wins, takes Vee
IC: Kathy wins
TC: Tammy loses
.avatar.yuku.com/survivorsucks "unknown(d5)'s Avatar")
