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* Other Advice Given By Alexis (and Weekly Quotes) *

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NlGHTCRAWLER		#41	[-]
Posts: 15778 (05/16/08 9:01 PM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: My pet cat died earlier today. I am in total shock. Will I ever get over this? This question is obviously a prank. I've seen that movie. Please show some courtesy and stop sending these joke questions, which waste my time and prevent me from helping out the girls who really need it. Also, if your cat did die, shoot it in the head lest it come back as a zombie.
Zesty66		#42	[-]
Posts: 460 (05/16/08 9:14 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: Hi, this is Jim and I am in serious trouble. There is a man in my house killing all my family. He has already shot my parents and my sister is hiding in the bathroom but I think she may be dead too. I am in her room and this website was open and it's my only means of communication. Please call the Police! HELP!!! Sorry this is girls only!
snalpoacks		#43	[-]
Posts: 641 (05/16/08 9:15 PM) Stranger with benefits Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	^
NickF227		#44	[-]
Posts: 2653 (05/16/08 9:51 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Zesty66 wrote: Dear Alexis: Hi, this is Jim and I am in serious trouble. There is a man in my house killing all my family. He has already shot my parents and my sister is hiding in the bathroom but I think she may be dead too. I am in her room and this website was open and it's my only means of communication. Please call the Police! HELP!!! Sorry this is girls only! Is it bad that I laughed so hard at that?
Paris Hilton		#45	[-]
Posts: 2356 (05/16/08 10:03 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	That was the funniest one yet!
NlGHTCRAWLER		#46	[-]
Posts: 15780 (05/16/08 10:37 PM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: How is your relationship with Natalie Bolton, and how do you feel about her getting more airtime than you? In fact, Jason's fake Immunity Idol got more airtime. I'm not trying to be rude, but I hardly think that constitutes as being a "star". How do you justify running a subscription website service and using your 4 minutes of screentime as a method to get helpless little girls to join? Do you not think that little girls need advice from people who aren't money-grubbing mactors? Is this the message that you want to send to our future generation? That in order for them to be popular, they have to have 4.2 minutes of screentime on a reality show, and then charge for advice that they could get from Barbie.com for free? I just don't get it. After all of your role model jargon on the finale' episode, I would hope that you would try to be one. Please change your ways! You could be a great role model! Don't charge little girls for advice!! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!! Whatever.
platinumtlc		#47	[-]
Posts: 2981 (05/16/08 11:42 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Zesty66 wrote: Dear Alexis: Hi, this is Jim and I am in serious trouble. There is a man in my house killing all my family. He has already shot my parents and my sister is hiding in the bathroom but I think she may be dead too. I am in her room and this website was open and it's my only means of communication. Please call the Police! HELP!!! Sorry this is girls only! WINNER! LOL!!!!!
Riliss		#48	[-]
Posts: 3743 (05/17/08 3:37 AM) Ugly on the inside Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: Hey there. I've got to be honest - I totally love you. In fact, the other day, my partner and I were in line at PigglyWiggly (we needed a few Summer's Eve products after a poorly scheduled taco/strap-on night) when she remarked that if she had to choose just one overweight-but-doesn't-know-it young womyn (wyman?) who won't get the fuck off my television screen to take home and sodomize, it'd be you. You're probably thinking that I chose you because you've got more available free time than most wymyn your age, but the truth is just that you obviously need a self-esteem boost badly enough to make for a fantastic victim. This brings me to my question. I'm looking for new and creative ways to lure young girls onto my ranch. Back when I myself was THAT GIRL on tv, I had more than enough money to buy, brand, and break my little young things. We'd sit around and listen to me write for days on end. Enough lamenting, though, this is where you come in. See, I can tell by your cute headbands and lack of rational thinking that you would love to spend the weekend at my ranch. In exchange, I can empower you the entire time, and as a former jailhouse catcher, I know you want to switch it up and accept my offer. So head on down (that's what we all-timers call a hootin' joke!) OMG SCOUT! I will TOTALLY be over there on thursday (nothing to do now ) Reaching for omnisexuality, Last Edited By: Riliss 05/17/08 3:39 AM. Edited 1 times.
NlGHTCRAWLER		#49	[-]
Posts: 15786 (05/17/08 8:22 AM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	^
PulaBear		#50	[-]
Posts: 30 (05/17/08 9:52 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	MyChemicalShowmance wrote: Dear Alexis: So much has happened to me lately that I don't know where to begin. My mom recently shot my dad, and then killed herself. My dad survived but he his having a rough time. I was then sent to a foster home in Myanmar a few weeks ago, and if you've been reading the news, you can probably tell that that hasn't being going too well. So basically, I have no parents and no home and hardly any food to eat. No clean water. No place to sleep. Nothing. Worst off, I have juvenile diabetes (without my medications) and am only a 6 year old girl. Me and the other people here may not survive. Help me. What can you do for me?! This is ridiculous. You need to GROW UP and be a strong independent young woman and stop making so many excuses!! I can't believe you just gave me all those pity lines. The only thing "juvenile" about your juvenile diabetes is your attitude!! You need to start thinking positive!! Don't you have goals? You should look into joining some after school activities to broaden your perspective on life. You need to become more well-rounded. Start getting those grades up too!! That whole "I got sent a foster home at age 6" line isn't gonna fly on that application to a Top 25 University in the United States. So step up to the plate and get with the program!! You can do it! sMiLe!!!! YAY LOL!
MyChemicalShowmance		#51	[-]
Posts: 482 (05/17/08 10:32 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: I'm doing my algebra homework assignment and they want me to solve for x: x^2 + 3x - 4 = 0 I just don't know what to do. Usually my older brother does my homework but he's stoned right now watching Arrested Development reruns in my stepdad's basement. I'd try using my calculator, but I purchased it from your website, and it is missing a 4 and a 5 button. Wikipedia doesn't help either. Can you help me? This totally reminds me of the time I "climbed" Mount Everest. I walked a whole 3,000 feet from the starting line and reached an elevation of 27 ft. above sea level, but it was terrifying!! But I stayed strong and brave! My point is, you need to believe in yourself! Who cares if you can't do math. The important question is: how do you feel about yourself? Secondly, there are lots of problems with your question. You said your brother usually helps you, but he's at your stepdad's house, and you're doing math homework. So typical of a male-dominated society. It's been proven that men are better at math. You need to stick what you'll be good at as a girl - so instead, I urge you to stick with English and Literature. I used to watch every episode of Reading Rainbow as a young girl, and it made me strong and brave and confident. Think... if you keep at it, someday you can be like me!! Math sucks. <333333 :)))))
NickF227		#52	[-]
Posts: 2661 (05/17/08 11:09 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	x=4/3 I think. I'd type one of these up but I'm not feeling to creative right now.
Seven Inch Gaboner		#53	[-]
Posts: 43 (05/17/08 11:15 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Thanks for the update! I'll still be here when you're ready. ...
NickF227		#54	[-]
Posts: 2663 (05/17/08 11:19 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: The other day this guy called 'Seven Inch Gaboner' came over and poked me, and then some white stuff came out of him. Now I'm fat. What's wrong? congrats! you aren't a virgin anymore. subscribe and i'll give you wonderful tips on how to use wire hangars to end your 'fat' problem!
TW After Life		#55	[-]
Posts: 667 (05/17/08 11:22 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	NickF227 wrote: x=4/3 I think. lol, no. x = 1 or x = -4 yw!
NickF227		#56	[-]
Posts: 2664 (05/17/08 11:27 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	TW After Life wrote: NickF227 wrote: x=4/3 I think. lol, no. x = 1 or x = -4 yw! Oh yeah it's one of those factor thingies. Oops.
NlGHTCRAWLER		#57	[-]
Posts: 15789 (05/17/08 11:31 AM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Ew @ wire hangers and "fat" problem!!
Seven Inch Gaboner		#58	[-]
Posts: 47 (05/17/08 11:38 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	NickF227 wrote: Dear Alexis: The other day this guy called 'Seven Inch Gaboner' came over and poked me, and then some white stuff came out of him. Now I'm fat. What's wrong? congrats! you aren't a virgin anymore. subscribe and i'll give you wonderful tips on how to use wire hangars to end your 'fat' problem! lmao
bigdaddyb00		#59	[-]
Posts: 1 (05/17/08 12:49 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	am i the only one who thinks she looks like tony romo?
Seven Inch Gaboner		#60	[-]
Posts: 63 (05/17/08 1:38 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	bigdaddyb00 =

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