This thread has devolved into idiocy that it cannot recover from. Nevertheless, I will try to save it by telling each Survivor this season to fuck off.

Fuck you, Marisa. You told someone to his fucking face that you didn't trust him, and you didn't expect him to retaliate? You painted a big-ass target on yourself with that stupid move. Great fucking strategy, bitch.

Fuck you, Mike. The only Survivor to get medevac'd twice, but at least you made it six fucking days this time! Even that fat fuck in Fiji fared better than you. You're a fucking joke, never come back if you're still alive by next season.

Fuck you, Betsy. For being an ex-cop and being able to read people, that sure did jack fucking shit for you in the actual game, huh? It's too bad you couldn't put those observational skills to good use by saving your own ass instead of letting yourself be an early boot. Pathetic.

Fuck you, Ben. Is it any fucking wonder your racist ass got voted off? You really think acting like a complete fucking prick and starting fights with everyone would get you far in this game? You're a worthless douchebag who's going to die alone. If you ever knock up a goat, please get an abortion for the sake of humanity, you pathetic trace of dried-up shit.

Fuck you, Yasmin. You got booted over some woman who bombed a challenge because you're lazy as fuck and incredibly confrontational. You screamed at everyone, contributed jack shit, and just took up space doing abso-fucking-lutely nothing. You're a great role model for your race, hon.

Fuck you, Ashley. You were incredibly lucky to get on despite being an alternate, and what did you do with that chance? Jack fucking shit. You were a boring waste, you never should have been cast, and I hope we never see you or any other boring twats like you ever again on this show.

Fuck you, Russell S. Yeah, your leadership led to a Galu blowout, but you certainly weren't smart enough to take care of yourself. You put the tribe over you, but this is an individual game first and foremost, you stupid fuck. You wasted your energy on a bunch of assholes who were going to vote you out three days into the merge anyway, so in my opinion you deserved to die. Also, nice blankets asshat.

Fuck you, Liz. Wow, another boring woman who contributed nothing to this season. What did you do again? I seriously can't remember one single fucking thing you've done. Worthless. Another pathetic bitch who just lets someone else do all the work. Fuck off and die, you lazy scag.

Fuck you, Erik. Way to act like an asshole to potential jury members. Great fucking plan turning on your own tribe. And yet you're still bitter your tribe backstabbed you when you tried to do the same fucking thing? You're a clueless motherfucker who deserved to have a speargun rammed up your ass. I'm glad you got voted out of the game, now get voted out of life plz.

Fuck you, Kelly. Who the fuck are you? Why the fuck was it so god damn important to have someone as trivial and useless as you playing Survivor? What the fuck did you bring to the show? Why should I give even one shit about you? You're useless, just like in life, and I eagerly await you coasting to death in a bloody car crash.

Fuck you, Laura. You acted like a cold twat to everyone around you, so is it any wonder everyone wanted you out with your "holier than thou" ego? Your social game was depressing, getting two stupid twats sucking your clitoris while alienating everyone else. You deserved to get voted out for your shitty-ass gameplay, so goodbye and good riddance, ice hag.

Fuck you, Brett. What the fuck is there to say about this guy? Nothing! Just like what he's contributed to this game? I've called a lot of people useless, but this shiteater takes the fecal cake. Go home, you boring fuck. Go home, and rot to death.

Fuck you, Dave. Creepy-ass fucker who constantly talks about fucking people. Do you drug them and tie them up before you "make love?" Do you get off over Russell playing his HII's? You're a sick fuck, Dave, and I hope you get castrated after the show.

Fuck you, Jaison. You wanted to quit. Multiple times. That is the most pathetic thing you can do in this game, which you keep complaining about constantly. Why the fuck are you still here if all you ever do is bitch and moan constantly? Do us all a favor and quit from life, you whiny little shit.

Fuck you, John. Yes, make big bold moves that kill your tribe. But really, what have you done strategy-wise? Sit back and let other people do everything for you? You are useless, you've done jack shit, and you deserve to lose if not get smashed in the skull with a machete.

Fuck you, Mick. You are the worst leader ever. Way to lead your tribe into an 8-4 deficit, you miserable bore! You've contributed nothing and are merely riding coattails to get to the end. You're miserable, fuck off and go away.

Fuck you, Monica. How the fuck are you still in this game? You have no friends, you suck at challenges, and you have the strategic gameplay of a dead whale rotting on a beach. Do you suck the men's cocks to get ahead, or are you just so god damn useless at everything you do in the game and in life that the rest of your tribe pities you and lets you slide by since you're not a threat? I don't know what it is, I just know that I want you to die.

Fuck you, Natalie. Another boring blond bimbo that's just taking up space. Wow, she can talk! Wow, she can kill a god damn rat! Rats are so hard to kill and all! Please, you're as worthless as everyone else on this show. But way to ride other people's coattails, great job and keep up the excellent work of doing nothing! Worthless bitch.

Fuck you, Russell H. You're playing a horrible game and making enemies with a bunch of people by being a stupid-ass hick horse fucker, ie yourself. Congratulations, your plans to sabotage your tribe have worked, and what happened? Your tribe went down 8-4! What a brilliant strategist! And now he's going to continue alienating jury votes and painting a bigger target on his fat ass! Isn't this guy such an amazing game player? Fuck you and the horse you fucked in on.

Fuck you, Shambo. For a stupid bitch who named herself after Rambo, you do nothing but cry about how pathetic you are and how nobody likes you because you're so pathetic. You're a joke. I hate you most of all, for you contribute nothing but tears, crying over and over about how unfair it is and how nobody likes you and how you're just miserable. You're making us miserable just watching you. And way to have an orgasm over Laura leaving, you sick fuck. One death isn't good enough for you, so I hope you get violently murdered, brought back to life, and then murdered again in an even more violent manner. Fuck Shambo, Fuck Shambo, Fuck Shambo.

So stop your fucking bitching at each other and focus on what's important: bitching at the contestants.