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Jeff: How is it possible to not notice there are six quarters in your ass?


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Jordan: I like George Straight.

Jeff: I like George crooked.

Jordan: I don't know who that is.


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Michele: Why aren't penguins extinct with all they have to do to have babies?

Jeff: You watch your mouth.


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Jeff: All I got is my balls and my word left in this game.

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"I feel like I'm in Vietnam. I want to jump out of a foxhole and throw a grenade down somebody's throat. I feel like painting my face."

"We should cut our own wrists and jump in a tub with a radio in it. That's why they don't give us a radio. So we won't throw it in the tub."

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"What do you want me to do... have toe surgery? You know your toes are not like spectacular." - Jeff

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"I defended you. What did you want me to do? Drownded him?"

(I'm now realizing that like half of my quotable quotes thread is Jeff quotes)