I guess it's a toddler by definition because it is toddling around now.
I was witness to its development of the walking skill.
Four weeks ago it was crawling. Then it stood up. Then it took a few steps before falling down again. Now, it is waddling around all over the place but still needs to grab onto stuff.
Yesterday, it walked over to ME.
"Oh, look!" Daddy says, all excited. "She's going to Mike for the first time!"
OK. So it's a girl.
I guess that explains the little earrings and pink clothes it wears.
She comes over to me and grabs my hands. She LOOKS at my hands. She wants me to turn them over so she can see both sides of them.
She doesn't know my hands recently jerked off her Uncle. I don't share this information with her. My hands were washed, though, so I don't feel funny about it.
She smiles and bubbles come out of her mouth.
Huh.
She gets bored with me and leaves and most of you can empathize with her on this.
Later on, she's sitting on G-Bear's lap and he is feeding her sherbet.
But she wants MY sherbet. She is very clear on this.
So, fine. I feed her MY sherbet.
I use a new spoon for this task. I do not want baby-mouth on my own spoon.
I am unsure about what a "baby-portion" is so I put too much sherbet on the spoon and try to shove it all in there. She is wise to this shit, though, and just takes little bits with her lips.
I am outsmarted by a 1 year old.
She goo-goos and points to my blueberries.
Fine.
I pick one up and put it into her mouth.
There is baby-drool all over my finger now. I have to pretend this doesn't bother me but it does.
She wants another blueberry. I give it to her and surreptitiously reach for a napkin when no one is looking.
Daddy says it is time for her bath.
I wish it was time for MY bath but there's liquid soap in the restroom and I take advantage of that instead.
OK, fine.
She was cute.
Her brain is occupied with the whole "learning to walk" bullshit so she isn't throwing things and having screaming tantrums at this time.
Next April, I will surely be invited to her second birthday party.
The food will be good, I know that much.
It's some solace, at least.
I was witness to its development of the walking skill.
Four weeks ago it was crawling. Then it stood up. Then it took a few steps before falling down again. Now, it is waddling around all over the place but still needs to grab onto stuff.
Yesterday, it walked over to ME.
"Oh, look!" Daddy says, all excited. "She's going to Mike for the first time!"
OK. So it's a girl.
I guess that explains the little earrings and pink clothes it wears.
She comes over to me and grabs my hands. She LOOKS at my hands. She wants me to turn them over so she can see both sides of them.
She doesn't know my hands recently jerked off her Uncle. I don't share this information with her. My hands were washed, though, so I don't feel funny about it.
She smiles and bubbles come out of her mouth.
Huh.
She gets bored with me and leaves and most of you can empathize with her on this.
Later on, she's sitting on G-Bear's lap and he is feeding her sherbet.
But she wants MY sherbet. She is very clear on this.
So, fine. I feed her MY sherbet.
I use a new spoon for this task. I do not want baby-mouth on my own spoon.
I am unsure about what a "baby-portion" is so I put too much sherbet on the spoon and try to shove it all in there. She is wise to this shit, though, and just takes little bits with her lips.
I am outsmarted by a 1 year old.
She goo-goos and points to my blueberries.
Fine.
I pick one up and put it into her mouth.
There is baby-drool all over my finger now. I have to pretend this doesn't bother me but it does.
She wants another blueberry. I give it to her and surreptitiously reach for a napkin when no one is looking.
Daddy says it is time for her bath.
I wish it was time for MY bath but there's liquid soap in the restroom and I take advantage of that instead.
OK, fine.
She was cute.
Her brain is occupied with the whole "learning to walk" bullshit so she isn't throwing things and having screaming tantrums at this time.
Next April, I will surely be invited to her second birthday party.
The food will be good, I know that much.
It's some solace, at least.
