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52. The Amazing Race 13

Wikipedia
Reality Blurred Archive

The Amazing Race 13 was the 13th installment of the reality television competition series The Amazing Race. It featured 11 teams of two, each with a preexisting relationship, in a race around the world.

The series was part of the fall line-up for 2008-09 season and premiered Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT starting on September 28, 2008 and ended on December 7, 2008.^[1][2]

Not much to really talk about here. It's just another season of TAR. New teams, new locales, and so on, but nothing really changing between seasons, so let's just get to the season itself.

1. Anita & Arthur. Bee-keeping hippies. And these were some real-ass hippies that had scraggly hair and beards and looked unwashed and all that hippie shit. Of course, since they were a pretty unique team, they were the first boot. Oh well.
   
2. Mark & Bill. Comic book geeks who had potential to be a pretty interesting team. They did1 well the first two legs and wanted to be the team that used their smarts and followed the directions perfectly, which turned into an ironic situation where they got eliminated because of a penalty for not reading the clue and taking a taxi rather than go on foot. Remind you of anyone? So always remember to read the fucking clues.
3. Terence & Sarah. The token bickering couple. They were hilarious in that they never got first, even though they kept trying. They ended up going to the Fast Forward against Nick & Starr, where it was about eating a bunch of meat. You see, this was hilarious because Terence was a vegetarian, so they had to quit and ended up getting eliminated. I'm not complaining.
   
4. Shoes. Andrew and Dan get to their location to do the cow task thing and decide to leave their shoes there. They screwed up the Detour or something, and I don't really remember what happened exactly, but I do remember they weren't able to go back and get their shoes, so they started the next leg shoeless. So they managed to a find a 24-7 shoe store in a Kazakhstan airport and buy some crappy shoes. Weird.
   
5. White Men Can't March. The clear highlight of the season was the Detour in Russia, where teams either marched or served borscht to soldiers. Andrew and Dan decide to march, and, uh... Dan has no fucking clue how to march. I'm sure all of you know how to march properly, or at least can figure it out after watching some people march a few times, but Dan lacked the ability to do so, so he ended up marching by kicking his legs all the way out and moving his bent arms full-force. It was ridiculous to watch, and he was so incompetent they had to switch the Detour. Words alone cannot explain it properly, so watch his marching on Youtube.
6. Toni & Dallas. A mother/son combo that were actually pretty strong race-wise. They were usually at the top of the pack, and managed to be one of only three teams this season to get first in a leg. Their downfall was when in the F4 Dallas lost their wallet, which had all their money and passports. They did their best to go on, and they did make some progress despite having no money, but they were eliminated anyway, and because they lost their passports they couldn't even get to the finish line with the other losers to wait for the winners. A shame.
7. Dallas & Starr. Not really a team (yet, wait until All-Stars 2), but rather a romance between the two that blossomed during the race. Not the first time romances have happened between two different teams, but even after the race they said they were still in a long-distance relationship, so yeah. Is it obvious yet that I'm trying to stretch material for ten points?
8. Andrew & Dan. I've already covered their greatest hits, but these two have to be commended for being the most incompetent team to ever reach the F3. The sheer ineptitude they showed during the race was astounding, and watching them fuck up over and over only to still continue was amazing to watch. Hilarious team overall, and for me they were the highlight of this otherwise mediocre season.
9. Ken & Tina. Separated because Ken cheated on Tina, which they liked to remind us over and over. I think Ken also used to be a NFL player or something, but I could be confusing him for someone else, so correct me if I'm wrong. They bickered some, and at times Tina was so annoying that you could see why Ken cheated on her. But they also managed to reconnect quite well and by the end were back being in love with each other, which was nice. They also managed to get three first place finishes in legs 2, 3, and 4, though they didn't get a first place since, including the final leg where they ended up second.
10. Nick & Starr. The winners of TAR13, they managed to get first place in 7/11 legs, a pretty impressive feat. Nick was dominant, Starr was game for anything except when she had temper tantrums and complained about cab drivers not speaking English. They were still a dominant force this season and the odds-on favorite to win, which turned into a boring and predictable finale. Oh well, they can't all be exciting nail biters.

So yeah, this is probably the most generic season of TAR we've seen. Nothing too bad, but nothing too good, besides how fucking horrible Andrew and Dan were at everything. At least TAR14 decided to update the formula a bit with a souped-up presentation, because this was the season when TAR finally started to show some age. Hopefully TAR will start getting fresher and regain some of the spark that older seasons had, but I guess we'll have to wait and see about that.