Oh yeah, keep a journal. Put your emotions there for safe keeping. In 10 years, you could sell your rights for a Lifetime movie of the week deal.
0 Kudo
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OH MY GOD....What have I just done?
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 Zzunk |
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Posts: 5435 (06/14/09 9:27 AM) Registered User |
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Edinboro |
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Posts: 4540 (06/14/09 9:56 AM) |
Zzunk wrote: Nice idea, but im already ahead of you. Writing is my passion and ive kept a journal ever since my 16th birtday. Its pretty cool to see how my writing as evolved over the years. Thanks for the help everyone, but im out for the day. Ill see what I hear back. Till later.... |
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Bernard Wrangler |
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Posts: 14859 (06/14/09 10:24 AM) this won't end well.
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KudosByLayla |
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Posts: 36 (06/14/09 10:44 AM) |
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 ScruffyGuy |
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Posts: 9999 (06/14/09 10:51 AM) Registered User |
You're watching too many chick flicks.
Nothing is going to happen here. There will be no father figure magically appearing in your life. There will be no nerve-wracking first meeting over coffee in the food court at the mall. There will be no slowly developing, exciting new relationship. There will be no tender words spoken about misgivings and mistakes and miraculous second chances. Daddy dumped some cum and now it's YOU. He doesn't care. You are making a huge mistake here. Mark my words.
Yeah, OK. Get a puppy. Starve it just a little bit, then approach it with some deli meat. Instant LOVE! Look, kid. In all seriousness... Say Daddy is out there, living his life as he wanted it to be: WITHOUT YOU IN IT. Why the fuck would you even want to meet such a man, who doesn't give a flying shit about his own progeny? Not to mention the fact that none of this will come to pass anyway and that you are only torturing yourself with delusions of paternal devotion that will never be realized. I seriously don't know why all these other people are supporting this HORRID decision you've made, or even encouraging you in the slightest. Life is what it is. Make the best of what you have. I am telling you this for your own good. Writing is my passion and ive [sic] kept a journal ever since my 16th birtday. [sic] Its [sic] pretty cool to see how my writing as [sic] evolved over the years. How many years have you been "evolving," exactly? Darwin is rolling over in his grave. Get a new hobby, kid. NOT genealogy. Again, this is for your own good. Sometimes it is best to shatter a dream before it become all-consuming and leads to nothing but bitter disappointment and possibly suicide. Join a youth club and make some new friends. Try your hand at gardening, perhaps. If your bell peppers die, it's really not the end of the world. You can always buy some at the supermarket. |
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ohboy |
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Posts: 4779 (06/14/09 11:00 AM) Registered user |
he had the cojones to make contact, so he'll end up being fine if nothing comes of it. at least he manned up and tried and won't wonder "what
if."
boro, if it looks like it's not going anywhere, try to get/keep a contact with some family member for medical info. later in life, you'll want to know if cancer or whatever is prevalent on that side of the family. also, tell him you need money for college. |
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bubbs72 |
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Posts: 1348 (06/14/09 11:21 AM) Registered user |
I would not expect an answer. His family might not even know that he had a kid or kids. At least you tried to contact him, but I wouldn't expect anything
in response, unless he is broke and thnks you have money.
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Eric in San Diego |
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Posts: 494 (06/14/09 11:42 AM) |
As an adoptee, I had a chance years ago to connect with my blood father, but ended up cursing at him over the phone and refusing to ever talk to him again.
Darn teenage angst and all!! I found out later that he died less than a year after that...drunk driver hit him during a motorcycle ride.
Four years ago, my phone rang. There was a woman on the other end of the line who said "I think you might be my brother!" I'm surprised as hell that I didn't just hang up, but I listened to her and...lo and behold...she WAS a sister! A half-sister (same dad/different mom). Turns out there are two of them and we connected pretty easily. First by email and phone...exchanging info nervously, waiting for something to go horribly wrong...then we met in person. It has been wonderful, and has filled an empty spot in my life that I didn't really know I had. We meet up in different places now, like Vegas or San Antonio, and they've even visited me here in SoCal. My advice to you is this, Edinboro...go slow. You have taken a wonderfully strong first step by hitting the "SEND" button, now just be strong and accept what happens either way. Best of luck to you!! Keep us posted, k? |
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ladybugtoes |
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Posts: 1264 (06/14/09 11:42 AM) Registered User |
omg - the freakiest thing just happened! My husband's brother just called and said he got this strange email from some kid that says he thinks he may be
his nephew. If this is true, I'm going to hang my husband up by his balls for not telling me this many years ago. We have been married 15 years and have
three kids.
ha - not really, but this is OT, and there was way too much support in this thread. good luck kid. |
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Etxeverria |
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Posts: 825 (06/14/09 1:01 PM) Registered User |
Good luck Edinboro. I got to know you from the days in Stranded and you are a good kid. Be wide open and understand that there are many different outcomes that
can come from this. Wish for the best, but also be aware that the other option can hurt.
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GrenadeJumper85 |
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Posts: 10986 (06/14/09 1:08 PM) |
Why is Scruffy being such an asshole?
Good Luck Edinboro, and do whatever YOU want to do that makes you feel better, because at the end of the day its your life and your decisions. Be open to the possibility that he may want a relationship with you, but also be aware that he may not want anything to do with you either. I'm sure everything will work out in the end. |
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glazerboy |
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Posts: 3184 (06/14/09 3:22 PM) Registered User |
ladybugtoes wrote:You laugh but this exact scenario was just going through my head. What if daddy never told anybody else in the family about little Junior? The right thing to do is contact daddy directly, not possibly spill the beans to some family member. But I guess it is too late for that... |
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HazelEyes48 |
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Posts: 2425 (06/14/09 5:37 PM) |
Your post makes me wanna cry
I hope you can begin a relationship with him... |
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Ramona Balboa |
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Posts: 2863 (06/14/09 6:20 PM) MESS member |
Scruffy is being a realist.
A friend of mother's had a daughter who gave a baby up for adoption. Said baby tracked her down. It's been really ugly even with the best of intentions all around. There just is not any emotional connection but a lot of pressure for there to be something. I am also reminded of another friend of mine whose father was a serial polygamist--never bothering to get divorced, just moving on. Weirdly enough, he'd left the names of all the previous "wives" and families to be contacted if he died to come to the funeral. Some families were somewhat aware of others but hers was the only one who knew about them all. Hilarity ensued as all these people found out for the first time that they had many siblings. He had had eight of these families, as I recall. It hasn't ended well. So, I am in agreeance with Scruffy that the expectations for filling any kind of emotional void through this connection should be zero. The more pressure you put on this nonexistent relationship, the more it will collapse under the weight. I imagine the reason why Eric's sisters worked out was because at that point the relationships could develop naturally, with mutual curiosity. However, I also think hitting the send button was inevitable, so just go into it very zen--with as few expectations as you can muster. |
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Kimbob the Magnificent |
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Posts: 6856 (06/14/09 9:06 PM) Yes, smarter than you |
Scruffy isn't being an asshole at all. In fact, I think he was being pretty kind.
Mostly, though, I think he was volunteering to act as this kid's father figure and I, for one, am touched by the gesture. |
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Edinboro |
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Posts: 4541 (06/14/09 9:12 PM) |
Well for one I blocked out Scruffys comment. It hurts to see someone so unsensitive and cold but whatever. If that comment makes him feel good about himself
that good for him. But I would never say something like that to someone else.
Im still waiting for a reply but I had a heart to heart with my cousin today and she told me about her mother my aunt who knew my father well. She told me that he was a very nice guy but mentally slow. And I guess my grandma told him to het lost which doesnt surprise me. |
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frisbeehead |
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Posts: 15615 (06/14/09 9:13 PM) Make it a funny one! |
I think Scuffy's input is worthwhile if it helps you realize that you shouldn't go into with expectations. Be strong about yourself. It could work
out, and it may not. But whatever the outcome it does not define you, it's something beyond your control.
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GrenadeJumper85 |
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Posts: 11000 (06/14/09 9:15 PM) |
Scruffy did make a point about going into it w/o any big expectations, but he could have worded it better.
He came off like an insensitive jerk. |
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AlwaysAwesomeAdam |
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Posts: 3130 (06/14/09 9:19 PM) |
Good luck buddy! Its better to try something instead of having regret one day about not.
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TequilaVaquero |
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Posts: 3533 (06/14/09 9:21 PM) Registered User |
As opposed to his usual caring self?
Dude, OT has hopefully prepared you for this, people are assholes. They say things without knowing you and don't care about you. Just like your dad. |
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