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Mrpoopypants wrote:

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.. Stephen would be too verbose ..

Like this? For the sake of review, there is something grievously wrong with those voluble carousers who impose tremendous hardships on tens of thousands of decent, hard-working individuals. Shame on the lot of them! At this point, all I can do is repeat a line from my previous letter: "Survivor Sucks seems to have trouble constructing a grammatically correct sentence". His older notions were frowzy enough. His latest ones are certainly beyond the pale. He is not the only one who needs to reassess his assumptions. Think about the worst kinds of hypersensitive delinquents I've ever seen. They too should realize that if he wanted to, he could convince the most officious prigs I've ever seen that there is absolutely nothing they can do to better their lot in life besides joining him. He could promote, foster, and institute nihilism. And he could repeat the mistakes of the past. We must not allow Sucks to do any of these. I do not wish to evaluate hedonism here, though I avouch that Sucks is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of inerudite speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations-and that's just the short list! Sucks, get a life! Don't kid yourself: He says that he is a model citizen. But then he turns around and says that his way of life is correct and everyone else's isn't. You know, you can't have it both ways, Sucks. To what consequences this leads can be seen from a few simple considerations. First of all, we are at war. Don't think we're not just because you're not stepping over dead bodies in the streets. We're at war with Sucks's incomprehensible, lazy rantings. We're at war with his pesky, hate-filled codices. And we're at war with his noisome, vainglorious prognoses. As in any war, we ought to be aware of the fact that I have to laugh when Sucks says that we should all bear the brunt of his actions. Where in the world did he get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever but the ineluctable outcome of his prank phone calls is a world in which mealymouthed, unconscionable rakes bring discord, confusion, and frustration into our personal and public lives. End of story. Actually, I should add that most people react to his ultra-ghastly tirades as they would to having a pile of steaming pig manure dumped on their doorstep. Even when they can cope, they resent having to do so. Speaking of resentment, even when Sucks isn't lying, he's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts, sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting facts in a way that will enable him to conduct business in a slatternly, mudslinging way. You'd think I'd be pretty well inured by now to the lunacies of Sucks's memoranda, but I have to say that combative scalawags do not deserve the assistance they receive from society. He vehemently denies that, of course. But he obviously would because his teachings all stem from one, simple, faulty premise-that the Earth is flat. I'm not saying this to be abominable but rather to explain that we mustn't be content to patch and darn, to piece and cobble at the worn and rotten fabric of Sucks's disaffected activities. Instead we must convince the government to clamp down hard on his exegeses. If we let Sucks interfere with a person's work performance, bodily security, physical movement, and privacy rights, then greed, corruption, and blackguardism will characterize the government. Oppressive measures will be directed against citizens. And lies and deceit will be the stock-in-trade of the media and educational institutions. To put the gods of heaven into the corner as obsolete and outmoded and, in their stead, burn incense to the idol Mammon is an injustice. Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if Sucks had learned anything from history, he'd know that he is inherently abysmal, wrongheaded, and unholy. Oh, and he also has a shameless mode of existence. Sucks and his surrogates are illiterate energumens. This is not set down in complaint against them, but merely as analysis. Forgive me for boring you with all the gory details, but I've repeatedly pointed out to him that his vaporings are a cancer that is slowly eating away at our flesh. That apparently didn't register with him, though. Oh, well; I guess Sucks insists that he has the linguistic prowess to produce a masterwork of meritorious literature. Has anyone, at any time, ever been more wrong? I'll tell you the answer in a moment. But first, let me just say that by allowing Sucks to break down age-old institutions and customs, we are allowing him to play puppet master. In such a brief letter as this, I certainly cannot refute all the circulars of libidinous rabble-rousers but perhaps I can brush away some of their most deliberate and flagrant objectives. All in all, I realize that this letter has seemed incredibly bleak. However, expecting the worst from Survivor Sucks means we will never be disappointed. If we're wrong and Sucks does not try to rip off everyone and his brother, we'll be relieved. If we're right and he does, we'll be prepared.