Coachebag...Douche Bag for All Seasons

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Eric in San Diego		#3001	[-]
Posts: 60 (04/17/09 9:21 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Are the producers actually TRYING to lose viewers? Focusing so much of the show around this one fucking ridiculous clown is pushing me further and further toward the perimeter. Maybe this draws a whole new crowd of slack jawed yokels who will sit and drool as ol' Ben spins his tales of glory and honor! What a tool. If there's anyone left who believes a single word that falls out of his pie hole even they must be embarassed by him. They had the chance to rid themselves of this pompous ass, and chose to eliminate the bigger threat. How's that feel, ass? That just says how much the remaining players believe they can beat this POS at pretty much anything. Sierra FTW!! Flawless victory...
LadyGrinningSoul		#3002	[-]
Posts: 326 (04/17/09 9:27 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	This fuckhead isn't entertaining in the slightest. I don't love to hate him, it's just pure hate. I feel violated every Thursday after being subjected to this blithering moron's fantastical tales and over-the-top pronouncements about being "the chosen one" and a dragon slayer. What. the. FUCK are the editors thinking?? It's getting so that I don't even look forward to watching this any more. No blindside can be worthy enough for what we viewers have endured this season.
gervasemyman		#3003	[-]
Posts: 939 (04/17/09 9:39 AM) I'm with STUPID! Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	blistering <3 I just don't even know what to say. I hate him. So much. I'm seriously considering quitting Tocantins if he's not out soon. I understand that Tyson and shit want to keep him round cause he's the best goat ever. But it just pisses me off SO much that Coach doesn't realise that that's the reason. Like, he takes the fact that he's still there and in the "strongest" alliance as some sort of validation of what a GOOD and TRUE and AWESOMELY STRONG player he is who is liked by everyone. I really fucking just want everyone to tell him that the only reason they're letting him into the alliance is cause no one ever anywhere would ever vote for him to win because he's such a fucking fuck. And that fact is the ONLY reason I am still watching this trainfuckingwreck of a season. Ugh. I'm so mad.
Eugene Schwindlemyer		#3004	[-]
Posts: 873 (04/17/09 11:21 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I am hoping that Jeff Just gets Snarkier and snarkier with him. The fact that EVERYONE on the set, the players Jeff , the staff the people they hired to set up the rewards, EVERYONE knws that he is a fucktard and they just egg him on is awesome. I think it is clear that Jeff knows exactly what he is and will play him like a cheap violin the rest of the show. I would actually have a shred of respect ofr eJeff if he did that.
MidnightPrince69		#3005	[-]
Posts: 23002 (04/17/09 11:47 AM) MadStudNYC Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Please, PLEASE show some RESPECT for people who want to eat his ASS.
star jumper		#3006	[-]
Posts: 40595 (04/17/09 11:52 AM) I'm an ugly Yeti King Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Congrats on 32K, Princey! mwah!
SuperJude		#3007	[-]
Posts: 12877 (04/17/09 11:56 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	MidnightPrince69 wrote: Please, PLEASE show some RESPECT for people who want to eat his ASS. That had to be the weirdest "confession" ever. So were these natives speaking in English or does he know the native language of interior Amazon natives because all Renaissance Douches inherently know such things? What troubles me is that a lot of us have assumed that over the top vfx (visual effects) and cheesy editing are ironic and point towards a huge downfall. Fact is a huge amount of the Survivor audience is actually quite literal and I forget sometimes that the editors aren't playing strictly to us hardcore fans but to the millions of casual fans out there. Maybe they think the casual fan will find Coachbag interesting and his story arc entertaining. I used the Siska comparison because while he certainly came off like a douche at times on the show, I had no problem going over hours of Survivor eps to edit down his bits on the show. I tried with Coachbag and really, I just can't fucking stand looking at or listening to him. Or, put another way, I fast forward through his confessionals when I watch the show at the CBS site. I've never fast forwarded over anybody, at the site or when I downloaded eps. This is a first and it speaks motherfucking volumes. Editors - cut the shit already. If he wins, underedit him like you had no problems doing with Bob. If he loses, give us a break and show us a little more of other players. -SJ™ Last Edited By: SuperJude 04/17/09 11:58 AM. Edited 1 times.
MikeHaggarKJ		#3008	[-]
Posts: 863 (04/17/09 11:59 AM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Mega64 wrote: Ugh. Disgusting, pathetic, obsessive, creepy, egomaniacal, ridiculous, moronic, obnoxious, need I go on? There's nothing likable about this piece of shit. He's painful to watch, his behavior is absolutely horrible, and he's a vile piece of human trash that's an affront to all humanity. A slow, painful death would be too good for this shithead. Ten slow, painful deaths still wouldn't be enough. I really hope he dies by being repeatedly stab around 5000 or so times. Only then would I even feel remotely satisfied over this douchebag's death. you forgot mentally "unstable mythomaniac who needs medical attention asap" its the most important part of it. ugh, first coach and then this piratebay bullshit and the most retarded, self righteous bullshit article ever posted on cnn? today sucks so fucking bad
JaniTholeMyDolly		#3009	[-]
Posts: 5974 (04/17/09 11:59 AM) Dicked....by Evel that is Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	blistering wrote: Somehow I just can't envision a boot scenario that would make putting up with him all this time worth it. I can....... The scene.......Tribal.........the votes......cast.....:::cue tribal music:::: Probst: "I will now read the votes"...:::::cue vote reading music::::::: "Coach" "Coach" "Coach" "The elevnth person voted out of Survivor Tocantins......"Coach" A sinlge tear weaves it way down Probsts cheek.....Tyson is stunned......Sierra shivers uncontrollably.....Taj buries her face........Burnett.....crushed...... ALL OF THE SUDDEN....::::::cue dramatic music:::::... TRIBE OF TOCANTINS 2 FOOT WARRIORS BUST OF THE BRUSH...THEY HAVE BEEN STALIKING TRIBAL THE ENTIRE TIME!!!!!11!!111!!!! THEIR LEADER MOTIONS TO COACH......HE IS TAKEN......KIDNAPPED......STRAPPED TO POLE...BEATEN....BLOOD...BONE PAIN.... Using the ancient art of Tye-Co-Cha-Moo-Chi-Ay-Ya-Yay Coach goes somewhere else in his mind...he takes the blows....he takes the pain......the blood..... The next day a military helicoptrer drops Coach off at Ponderosa. He is healed using some herbs he picks and by doing his warrior poses....... He is Coach.
star jumper		#3010	[-]
Posts: 40596 (04/17/09 12:01 PM) I'm an ugly Yeti King Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Has anyone ever told you, your posts read like stereo instructions? I'm not trying to put you down, SuJu, it's just that your posts are about three paragraphs too long, structured weirdly and just plain boring to read. But I agree with you about Coach...I think.
WatchMeNext		#3011	[-]
Posts: 9587 (04/17/09 12:04 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	lizzo1 wrote: There once was a douchebag named Coache Who's ass someone wanted to poach But he loosened the rope Dashing all of our hope And slipped out the back like a roach.
SuperJude		#3012	[-]
Posts: 12879 (04/17/09 12:08 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	star jumper wrote: Has anyone ever told you, your posts read like stereo instructions? I'm not trying to put you down, SuJu, it's just that your posts are about three paragraphs too long, structured weirdly and just plain boring to read. But I agree with you about Coach...I think. Geez lil sj, I so rarely make a long post, it saddens me that your jealousy manifests its' ugly head -SJ™
Canadian Model		#3013	[-]
Posts: 76 (04/17/09 12:09 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I like how none of our opinions matter, including mine. GO COACH!!!!!!
star jumper		#3014	[-]
Posts: 40597 (04/17/09 12:16 PM) I'm an ugly Yeti King Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	SuperJude wrote: star jumper wrote: Has anyone ever told you, your posts read like stereo instructions? I'm not trying to put you down, SuJu, it's just that your posts are about three paragraphs too long, structured weirdly and just plain boring to read. But I agree with you about Coach...I think. Geez lil sj, I so rarely make a long post, it saddens me that your jealousy manifests its' ugly head -SJ™ You delusional fuck, you have nothing for me to be jealous over.
WatchMeNext		#3015	[-]
Posts: 9588 (04/17/09 12:16 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	The only thing that would now make this season of having to endure Coach worthwhile is if he DID make it into the final two, loses every single vote to whoever he is sitting next to, and we, the faithful viewers get to watch his head explode LIVE!!
JaniTholeMyDolly		#3016	[-]
Posts: 5977 (04/17/09 12:19 PM) Dicked....by Evel that is Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	WatchMeNext wrote: The only thing that would now make this season of having to endure Coach worthwhile is if he DID make it into the final two, loses every single vote to whoever he is sitting next to, and we, the faithful viewers get to watch his head explode LIVE!! As soon he is either a) In final 2 -or- b) voted off we will get to see everyone call him on his bullshit and tell him he's a liar and a fraud to his face. They are holding back since they are thinking "I might be in fiinal 2 and need this douchs vote". Once that dream is crushed...they are all going to scream in his face until his ponytail flys loose. I guarantee that.
puffsea		#3017	[-]
Posts: 5 (04/17/09 1:54 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	When I heard Coach's Amazon story, I felt like I was reading one of the entries in the "Coach's real journals unearthed" thread.
Mind The Gap1	a poem for coach	#3018	[-]
Posts: 694 (04/17/09 2:16 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	this is either a poem for coach or a true story `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought -- So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. `Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
MikeHaggarKJ		#3019	[-]
Posts: 873 (04/17/09 2:53 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	LadyGrinningSoul wrote: This fuckhead isn't entertaining in the slightest. I don't love to hate him, it's just pure hate. I feel violated every Thursday after being subjected to this blithering moron's fantastical tales and over-the-top pronouncements about being "the chosen one" and a dragon slayer. What. the. FUCK are the editors thinking?? It's getting so that I don't even look forward to watching this any more. No blindside can be worthy enough for what we viewers have endured this season. major X to this and the 3 posts above it ESPECIALLY the bolded part
MidnightPrince69		#3020	[-]
Posts: 23005 (04/17/09 2:55 PM) MadStudNYC Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	SuperJude wrote: MidnightPrince69 wrote: Please, PLEASE show some RESPECT for people who want to eat his ASS. That had to be the weirdest "confession" ever. So were these natives speaking in English or does he know the native language of interior Amazon natives because all Renaissance Douches inherently know such things? What troubles me is that a lot of us have assumed that over the top vfx (visual effects) and cheesy editing are ironic and point towards a huge downfall. Fact is a huge amount of the Survivor audience is actually quite literal and I forget sometimes that the editors aren't playing strictly to us hardcore fans but to the millions of casual fans out there. Maybe they think the casual fan will find Coachbag interesting and his story arc entertaining. I used the Siska comparison because while he certainly came off like a douche at times on the show, I had no problem going over hours of Survivor eps to edit down his bits on the show. I tried with Coachbag and really, I just can't fucking stand looking at or listening to him. Or, put another way, I fast forward through his confessionals when I watch the show at the CBS site. I've never fast forwarded over anybody, at the site or when I downloaded eps. This is a first and it speaks motherfucking volumes. Editors - cut the shit already. If he wins, underedit him like you had no problems doing with Bob. If he loses, give us a break and show us a little more of other players. -SJ™ Who the hell would want to eat his ass? Ya know? Besides me.

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