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When she's sleeping, take a rusty ice pick, and poke her eye out, and then stick your hands in the socket, and pull apart to spread it open as much as possible, don't worry about ripping her skin though, she'll be sleeping. Jerk off into the enlarged eye socket, and then stick your hand up her ass, grab onto some shit, pull it out, and then stick it up your urethra, and then chop your nuts off (you won't need them anymore, you have plenty of shit to impregnate people with now). When she wakes up, act like nothing happened, and accuse her of cheating on you, giving you an excuse to break her legs, then push her down the stairs, then push her back up the stairs, then lock her inside, and then set the house on fire, and then shit (through your dick) all over the burning house.

The flaming bag of dog poop is one of the most masterful strategies ever laid out in prank warfare. The prank works as follows: poop (or shit, whatever) in a basic brown bag (the kind you may have eaten lunch out of as a kid), then put the bag on the porch of your arch nemesis, finally light the top of the bag on fire, ring the doorbell (or knock) and RUN BITCH RUN! to a pre-set hiding/viewing location. If all went as planned the victim will see the flaming bag and be all like "ahh fire!" followed by a quick stomping of the bag. With all factors included the person is about to have some very shitty shoes(booya!). Otherwise known as: The flaming bag of dog shit, the flaming shit bag, the bag o' molten shit.