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I've seen lots of folks not be sure about the person they want to be with--and end up happily partnered for years--because some people...are just not ever sure of anything. I think it can be more of a general character trait for some folks, rather than a marker that they are unsure of their love and ability to be devoted to a particular, specific, person. In fact, what I like about this show is that it highlights that we are each multifaceted, and are oft at a crossroads where who we align ourselves with--friends, careers/workplace, lovers, partners--can make all the difference as to where we end up later in life. To have to choose who one might become based on who one partners with, and to see those paths in such stark contrast is pretty amazing.

I just can't buy into too much conspiracy around asking any of these people to "act" a certain way. It's hard enough to act as an actor; trying to dig deep to one's truth as an actor is hard and require discipline. It's much easier to ask people to just "act" as themselves, and to focus on that realness is what makes good reality television.

What if Melissa knew that she and Jason were ending, and that it would be announced/discussed/unfold on ATFR 1? If she were prepared for that, but not for Jason also deciding to try again with Molly? And what if Molly had stayed in touch with Jason, but as that ex-girl friend who wants to stay in touch and is deluding herself that she has let go enough to make a friendship possible (and you know, we've been beat upside the head about what wanting to end up with your best friend actually means) ? And Molly is therefore herself (somewhat) surprised when Jason decides to end his relationship with Melissa and asks (on air) if she would consider dating him? We return to AFTR2 to see how those earlier decisions played out...and Melissa decides she doesn't need to participate because she has moved forward.

This particular scenario is still made of drama and while it is sad for Melissa, it places the risk of disappointment on Jason, which seems more in keeping with his general edit and his agony over whether to go with Melissa or Molly, even after choosing to go with the seemingly more electric energetic relationship. It would make sense that he hesitates to go for the rather (to me) boring golf-buddy relationship with the strange familial seating relationships complete with funny hats. To circle back to wanting that (blah) steadiness of a relationship would be hard. And to ask Molly to decide whether she would be interested in starting again/picking up where they left off on LIVE TELEVISION is made of drama that you can't script cuz it works very which way because it is real, and the reality of it will be played out with the deepest emotional mining that can ever be had.

People love more than one person every day; we tell ourselves that one "love" is different from another so that we can continue to have multiple loving relationships. We make pacts with our partners about what our shared expectations of boundaries in these multiple loving relationships that coexist with our designated primary relationship. Sometimes we know we are fooling ourselves, and keep careful boundaries with colleagues and friends that threaten the primary relationship--sometimes we don't and have emotional affairs and sometimes we even act out our love outside of the commitments that we have made. And yet still. some of us have made commitments that allow for above-board multiple loving relationships (for example, many het couples allow deep love between their spouses and samesex friends as long as their is no "sex" because they perceive that the firend offers something that they do not; this affect is also present in homo couples.). Polyamory is a complex idea, and it's not always about sex or articulated desires and commitments.

TB is interesting because everyone involved is exploring what these boundaries really are and how comfortable we are with living within or without boundaries, whether they are socially constructed or individually enabled. I have no doubt that Jason loved both Melissa and Molly. In choosing between them he was deciding who he wants to be, how he wants to give and share love, and where he imagines his life could go. And by continuing with Melissa, he found his answer. And perhaps by re-engaging with Molly he has found yet still another answer, one which is more deeply satisfying, and certainly, seems unexpected. Although, it is early days yet, and we'll just have to see where they are in....3 weeks.

None of this surprises me--this happens all the times to the folks around me, trying to decide what you feel about the person you're dating, what it says about one's own dreams, having to hope that their desires are in sync with one's own, knowing that if being with them will change your life, then being with you will change their life, and since you can't know in advance what will happen, you've got to base a decision to move forward on something much less tangible. SO good on TB if they are able to portray somewhat accurately how hard it actually is to decide to be in love. For some of us, at least.


I think it's possible that these two have been in touch by text/email/phone, and that if Jason was interested in seeing Molly again, once he had clarifies for himself that he was ending the relationship with Melissa he'd just have his wingman, CH, have a little conversation with Molly to see what she's feeling about Jason. Just because Jason doesn't know the answer doesn't mean that production hasn't done it's pre-production homework. I don't think TB would let Jason ask the question cold and be turned down on air--that's not what the franchise promotes, is it?

But chances are, the only reason Jason thinks Molly would say yes is because their conversations have led him to believe that it is possible. I don't think Jason would need to see her in person to know that she was in love with him once, and might still be open to seeing him again.