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Friends, Sucksters, Clubsmen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury this thread, not to praise it.
The evil that threads do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with this thread. The noble PagongSchlong
Hath told you this thread was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath this thread answer'd it.
Here, under leave of Schlong and the rest--
For Schlong is an honourable poster;
So are they all, all honourable posters--
Come I to speak in this thread's funeral.
It was my favo thread, faithful and just to me:
But Schlong says it was ambitious;
And Schlong is an honourable poster.
Us Kids Know hath brought many captives home to Clubs
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in this thread seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Us Kids Know hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Schlong says this thread was ambitious;
And Schlong is an honourable poster.
You all did see that some time last month or somesuch
I thrice presented Us Kids Know a presidential crown,
Which he did thrice lose refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Schlong says this thread was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable poster.
I speak not to disprove what Schlong spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love this thread once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for it?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with this thread,
And I must pause till it come back to me.

oh, then you must have missed the top 25 hot shirtless men ranking that came right after that : /