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Honey, Canadian pharmacies sell Tylenol with CODEINE over the counter.

The reasons why are obvious, if you just give it some thought. Consider how absolutely horrible it must be to live there. Consider how much better the citizens feel if they dope up on codeine during the long, long, long, cold, cold, cold winter months.

You'll be able to walk around like a zombie in a light narcotic haze and pretend you AREN'T THERE.

And, really... that's just about all you can hope for at this point.

You won't have to fill out any forms or provide any identification to get the codeine. Just go to the pharmacist and ask for 222s, or the generic equivalent.

When I was a teenager, all the best hash oil came from Canada, too. I think they distill the hash into oil so it stores better in the root cellar or something.

There is no good food in Canada. None at all. You may starve to death in a few months. Suggestion: bring several barrels of exotic spices with you. Canada is BLAND.

Oh, but it's "very clean." This is the ONE THING that everyone who visits Canada always says. "It was so clean!"

But that's of little solace. It's like when someone tries to compliment a really fat chick and they say: "She has a pretty face..." because there's really nothing else they CAN say.

My deepest sympathies to you.