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ScruffyGuy wrote:

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My buddy stopped by last night and gave me a very nice, relaxing 90 minute blowjob. And yet, even after that, with my nuts kind of sore from keeping it up for so long, I still managed to achieve and maintain another erection while watching Joshuah's demise on DVR at around 2 AM. It didn't make me cum, but it was pretty damn erotic all the same. (It's TOUGH to keep it up when Julie Chen is on-screen, so at least give me credit for that.)

Funny... I wrote about Joshuah's "crocodile t ears" more than an hour before the show aired (Eastern time) and one of the very first things Julie discusses is, in fact, Joshuah's crocodile t ears.

Oh, Joshuah... that pathetic performance of weeping over pizza wasn't good enough for The Bold And The Beautiful. I can't blame you for trying to make a play to the producers for a cameo, but it just ain't gonna happen.

You're a foul piece of guttertrash, Joshuah -- a disgrace to all homosexuals, even the few who are or have been serial killers.

Hey, Joshuah... when you get to read this thread, when you get to see the footage of the season, how might you feel to learn just how hated you are and how NATALIE, of all people, whupped your ass in a mental game? To the casual observer, it would appear that Natalie has the same size brain as one of those guinea pigs -- and she fucking CREAMED your gay ass. Ouch, sister... that's gotta hurt.

Fuck, even Ryan and Adam trounced you, and their brains are composed entirely of blood sausage and turkey Spam.

Somehow you've managed to squeeze your deceptive bullshit through Sharon and Sheila's weak perceptive filters, but they are both lonely and miserable women who are probably a lot more intrigued at the notion of making a gay "friend" than anything else. For hag-virgins, the acquisition of a first-time homo to call their very own can be exciting, but the novelty will wear off. Sharon and Sheila will ultimately meet a MUCH BETTER queer than you to adopt for shopping trips and cappuccino on a rainy Saturday afternoon in their home towns.

I realized also last night... there is nothing more pretentious, obnoxious and ridiculous than a TEXAS HOMO faking a cowboy accent. Seriously, Louisiana gays are better than you, and most of them live in tin trailers and shoot their own nutria for food. (Look up "nutria," it'll be funny.)

Though I wanted to take pleasure in watching your poor Mommy and Daddy try to defend you, I just felt sorry for them in the end. They squirmed, they grimaced; they probably won't be able to make love to each other again for YEARS after the psychological trauma you have put them through. You were an embarrassment at home, but now you've gone and ruined their lives on national television because you have NO SHAME, no conscience, no dignity, no class and most of all, because you are filled with self-hatred.

Your Mommy even asked the camera WHY you would behave in the way that you did. And the answer for that poor woman is above: you are a low-life LOSER who represses his feelings of guilt and rage, who takes no responsibility for his own demeanor and who will not ever learn to love himself because there is really nothing there to love at all. I guess when a person is devoid of social skills and lacking completely in empathy and compassion, it is no surprise that all of this filters down into the shattered remnants of psyche to form a bubbling mass of doubt, fear, anger and confusion.

Also, you're just a fucking asshole.

It's OK to hate yourself -- everyone else hates you, too.

You're one of those queens that gets USED. Other gay guys ram your gaping asshole and shove their dicks down your throat, then give you a fake phone number or avoid you like the plague the next time they run into you at the bar. There's nothing wrong with being a cum-dumpster, but you've got to take some pride in what you are. Cum-dumpsters such as yourself don't MOVE THEIR TONGUE when a guy is fucking your mouth, and that's just RUDE.

Here's a hint, and I think it's important you take it under consideration: swallowing massive amounts of semen will NOT make you any less of a queen or more of a man. The good news, however, is that cum is LOW CARB, so it won't ruin your diet.

Though he's also an idiot fuckwad, at least James had the good sense to get PAID for making a video of himself having sex with a man. The most you can ever hope for is one or two beers -- whatever's on tap, of course. And the only reason any men purchase a drink for you first is because they are moderately hopeful that the booze will kill off some of the bacteria and fungi that are growing inside your gaping slit-maw mouth.

What was that you said as you stood up to leave? "Be true to yourself." That was supposed to be ironic, right? Please tell me it was supposed to be ironic.

Oh, right: also, don't you fucking EVER use sound-effects when speaking to a group. The roller-coaster pantomime was just... oh, God... it was embarrassing to watch. When you look at the tapes and see how your Mom and Dad were cringing with disgust, that's how all of America looked when you performed your little "it was a wild ride" speech (which was obviously and painfully rehearsed about a million times in your scrawny, flaccid brain before the live show).

I can understand why you said you never wanted to "get off the ride." It's clearly a phrase you've used many times before, mostly in dark rooms painted black in the backs of bars, the kind where you pay a small entrance fee and then dip into a communal tub of Crisco to lube up your ass before climbing into the leather sling.

"If you can learn anything from Joshuah," you said, and I finished the thought for you: "Impossible, other than to never refer to yourself in the third person unless you want to appear as a pretentious dildo-douchebag."

It wasn't very magnanimous of you to refuse a goodbye hug from anyone other than Sharon and James, and you even managed to scurry away from Sharon without giving her any affection when the poor, confused bitch needed it most. Well, look at it like this: at least there were a few times in the house that you somehow wheedled a hug from a few straight, masculine men. I hope you've burned that memory into your mind because it surely won't ever happen again. I do pity Matt, Ryan and Adam, though: it's burned into THEIR memories, too, and may cost them thousands of dollars in therapy to erase the traumatic results of being touched by such a sad, slimy manifestation of gender-confusion.

Did you... did you almost CURTSY when you walked out to meet Julie Chen? It looked like you had to consciously make an attempt to stop a curtsy.

Ah, well... I feel a great sense of emptiness now. There is no one on TV that I can currently despise as much as I despise you. I don't want to go back to venting my frustrations by shooting sparrows again. It's messy, and frankly I can't afford all those BBs.

greatest post from a gay dude about a gay douchebag that i've ever read. solid.