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This is a bittersweet theme for me. My mom was a HUGE Neil Diamond fan. She saw him live literally dozens of times, and I remember her playing all of his 8-tracks. I wish she was around to enjoy this - or not…

JASON CASTRO - Round 1: Jason is an extremely mediocre singer, but this vocal was pleasant enough. I just get the feeling that any schmuck off the street could sing it at least this well. His "lower register" is better than his upper register because he doesn't make those awful faces, but it sounds about the same. He looked like he was faking the guitar playing. Also, he missed the joy or any idea that the song is a love song…

DAVID COOK - Round 1: At the time, I thought it was okay, but minutes later, I literally can't remember a single thing about it…

BROOKE WHITE - Round 1: I've never gotten the psychotic comments about Brooke till tonight. Wow! That was uncomfortably manic. She sounded okay, but the performance was abysmal. She looked like a crazy, old televangelist's wife hocking for donations to a church…

DAVID ARCHULETA - Round 1: This one actually pissed me off. Why change such a perfect melody? It wasn't for any reason that I could determine, and given that so few of the notes were sung as written, it came off like he didn't even know what to sing. Add to that the unbearable stiffness, and this was a train wreck. This was David's worst performance, and the song deserves a better performance.

SYESHA MERCADO - Round 1: She started off wavery and weak, but her voice isn't painful to listen to. When she got into full voice, it sounded much better. Not shouted, but sung with power. There was way too much smiling for a song that should have more than a hint of sadness to it. I wonder, also, if all the glittering make-up every week is her idea. Enough, already!

Round 1 Rankings:

1. SYESHA (by default)
2. JASON
3. COOK (I guess. I barely recall it)
4. BROOKE (as terrible as it was, there was still one that was worse)
5. ARCHULETA

I had heard about Paula's gaffe, but seeing it myself, it was a thousand times worse than I imagined. Wow! Just wow…


JASON CASTRO - Round 2: Horrible arrangement - WRETCHED vocal. Where was the melody? I guess it doesn't matter, as Jason didn't hit any of the notes he was going for. Also, it wasn't about anything. Where was the energy? The passion? There was nothing here except for bad, bad singing.

DAVID COOK - Round 2: Are the judges high? (I mean Randy and Simon - Paula is obviously high…) David was hovering around the pitch on so many notes, but consistently ended up off-key. The last note in particular was unbearable. This was not a good performance. If you told me that he was trying to throw the competition because he didn't want to be pegged as the American Idol, I would believe you, as this was nowhere NEAR the level of performance (vocal or otherwise) that David has given every other time he has taken the stage. If that is the case, though, the joke is on him because everybody else sucks so badly that his strategy will never work…

BROOKE WHITE - Round 2: This was so much better. Yes, the verse was awkward - mostly because Neil's "Arizona" suggestion screwed up the phrasing and made other lyrics not make sense. She rescued it on the chorus, though, pulling it off with sincerity and even a little originality. Too bad the final phrase was a misfire… I wonder, though, how much weight Brooke has lost, even just in the past week. She looks like a scarecrow - very unhealthy-looking, almost like Tammy Faye towards the end (knock on wood). Eat, Brooke. Idol's not worth dying over!!!

DAVID ARCHULETA - Round 2: This was also much better. Yes, he was as gasp-y as we've ever seen him, but at least he brought a point of view to the song - albeit a pseudo-"Lion King" point of view. I actually like that his voice cracked, as it broke him out of the overly-packaged quality, at least a smidge. It was far from great, but, unlike after the first performance, at least you can tell that the kid can sing. Paula certainly seemed to like it when Simon talked about Archie "tickling the box"…

SYESHA MERCADO - Round 2: This was okay. It was a solid "B". There was energy, and it was well sung. She reminded me of Sharon Leal in "Dreamgirls". She's talented and adequate, but she's not the star. Still, on a night this dismal, she was far and away the least suck-tacular!

Round 2 Rankings:

1. SYESHA
2. BROOKE (she moved me a smidge more than Archie)
3. ARCHULETA
4. COOK (watching back in the recap, the first performance was better)
5. JASON


Overall Rankings:

1. SYESHA

(Nobody else deserves to be ranked, so I'll have to do it mathematically, adding their first and second round rankings…)

2. BROOKE (4th and 2nd equals 6 points)
3. tie - COOK (3rd and 4th equals 7 points)
3. tie - JASON (2nd and 5th equals 7 points)
5. ARCHULETA (5th and 3rd equals 8 points)


If I had my way, I'd want them to eliminate Jason, David Archuleta and Brooke tomorrow and declare Syesha and David Cook the final two. After tonight, Syesha is the only one who deserves to stay in, but Cook has built up a lot of good will with me (much of which he frittered away tonight…)