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so my friend messages me and tells me she's auditioning today in toronto and needs someone to go with. i say sure. i've always wanted to go and see what its like. in reality i suck at singing. i'm next to tonedeaf, or so i thought, but my friend is amazing and i figured she'd at least make celebrity judges, so we go. morning of i decide to sing 'on the way down' by ryan cabrera, because i figure it's not a challenging song. my friend sings 'stronger' by faith hill.

we go into the small room for tier 1. theres five of us, one producer, and one staff worker. i have to sing first, i butcher the song, obviously, and we move on. the chick beside me sings 'addicted' by kelly clarkson, she's got a nice voice but she was really stiff and nervous. another chick sings 'rehab' but was way too quiet. my friend goes, she rocks it. then some other chick sings some over the top musical song with some really terrible notes.

the one producer made all the decisions, didn't consult the other dude at all. she says shes going to cut two of us and keep three of us to sing more for her. the rehab girl gets cut, and surprisingly, my friend gets cut. my friend apparently didnt perform well enough while the other chick was too quiet.

so she makes the musical girl go again. she does, still over the top, and she gets cut because hte producer feels that how she sang isn't her real voice and that she's putting on too much of an act. 'addicted' girl goes again and sings beautiful my Xtina. pretty good, but again, too stiff and not lively enough. she goes.

my turn again. i sing 'promise' by eve 6. im nervous as hell and she says that the song doesnt show enough of my range so asks me to sing a 3rd song. i had only thought about singing ryan and as a backup earlier on decided on promise. at this point my heart is pounding and im so nervous i can not think of any songs at all. she asks who i like, i say kelly clarkson, she says do a kelly song. but i was so nervous i couldnt even think of any kelly songs. after a minute or so i choose a blink 182 song, 'all the small things'. i giver.

during my song she turns to the other person and on a pad of paper writes down "?". i take this as she's on the fence with me and needs his opinion. this dude was quiet and didnt smile or talk at all the whole time and this is the first time she's asked him or acknowledged him for help. he writes something down and as he's writing i can tell im singing worse and worse so i stop. i had forgotten the lyrics to promise and all the small things so i knew i was going down hill.

she looks at me and says;
"i love your look, i love your personality, i love your vibe. i love your confidence and your stage presence. it's all working. your voice ... is good. it's not great. what we have to realize is that this is the last stop on the tour, so we've seen everyone, and we know the talent level out there. you're not as good a singer as people who've gone through. but, you are by far the most entertaining of this group and i was genuinely entertained by you. i liked you. unfortunately, we can't send you to the next round. but keep practicing, we definitely want to see you next year"

so i got cut. but i was so happy, going in expecting nothing hearing those words made me so happy. great experience. i got to thinking that maybe if i even rehearsed at least once before going in, maybe i'd had made it? who knooooows. we'll see next year =P