Angela - I am very much in your position. It's ok, most marriages become unfulfilling at some point. So long as he's not abusive to you or the kids anymore and you get along reasonably well and he's being a good father, I do believe it's better for the kids to stay together. Who wants their kids living out of suitcases for their entire childhood being shuttled back and forth from place to place. It's easy for people to justify leaving a spouse with the idea that they want to show their children what a good marriage is. But believe me, I have 2 siblings and countless friends who've done that very thing and the kids will have nothing to do with one parent now. They will feel betrayed by someone and end up pick a side. Ask anyone if they would sacrifice their life for their child and they will say yes in a heartbeat. Ask that same person if they'd live in a less than perfect marriage (or even sexless marriage) and well now you're asking too much. We've grown up in a culture that places unrealtic ideals of what marriage should and shouldn't be. The truth is, if you can even stand to be in the same room with your spouse for more than 10 minutes, you've got a better marriage than 50% of America.
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 WatchingJen |
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Posts: 342 (03/04/08 8:52 AM) Registered user |
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chelleforrupert |
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Posts: 8460 (03/04/08 9:20 AM) Registered user |
WatchingJen wrote: How OLD are you? Very pessimistic and not true. |
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Gwennie |
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Posts: 756 (03/04/08 9:56 AM) |
I think I feel sorrier for WatchingJen than I do Angela. WJ has convinced herself that her sexless, loveless marriage is good enough.
Personally, I think that, like with most things in life, if you have to ask yourself and especially others if you should do something...you aren't ready to do it yet. Divorce is a real biggie. I think you aren't ready for it yet. I think you should really try to make the marriage work....and if you get to the spot that you just can't make it work, at least you will know that you gave it your best shot. You don't want to have to live the rest of your life wondering "what if" and mired in regret. Try. The worst that could go wrong is that you delay the inevitable by six months or a year... on the other hand, any man selfish and thoughtless enough to tell his wife to get herself wet....isn't really good husband material, and probably ought to be kicked to the curb. That insensitivity is a snapshot of a much bigger problem/flaw in his character, that goes to the common courtesy, decency, and concern that should be the hallmark of a marriage...hell of any relationship. Of course, if Angela IS a ghostnick....ferget all of the above. 
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MrsSoares |
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Posts: 1046 (03/04/08 10:20 AM) |
Well, your solution lies in what perspective you decide to use. I see you go to church... do you go as a true believer or just for show.
There is God's way to approach this... in which case, your ministers wife is absolutely pointing you in the right direction... or there is the worlds way... in which case, the people here at sucks are pointing you that way. Either road is a difficult one. I know, I have been there (I am heavily involved in marrage minsitry as a result of it). So, God's way or the worlds way. Just remember, We are in the world, but not of the world. Amen. Screw all you peopl that will follow this post with rants about God what not. She asked a serious question regarding a serious situation... and I have a very serious firm view of the situation. Ang, PM me if you would like to discuss anything in private... I can even speak to you on the phone if you'd like. But know that I will advocate for His way. God Bless. |
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StatelyWayneManor |
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Posts: 4804 (03/04/08 10:30 AM) Registered user |
Hit Parader interview with Ozzy Osbourne...
Hit Parader: Billy Idol says he was a fan of yours at 15, but not at 16... Ozzy: That's about right. Feelings change over time. Some get stronger...some don't. You will always have us, Angela. Well most of us...I'm going to lunch. |
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Lya Panzonfia |
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Posts: 6 (03/04/08 11:01 AM) |
I don't know you or anything, but are you sure you'd be able to find someone else who's willing to have sex with you if you dump the hubby? I'm
thinking it might be iffy.
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 nekey |
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Posts: 822 (03/04/08 11:15 AM) Registered user |
Oh, please. Angela In WI is fine. I'm surprised no one has called dibs yet. (No, aldav does not count.)
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Angela in WI |
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Posts: 20329 (03/04/08 12:24 PM) Registered User |
I am a believer in God. And I am turning this all over to him and praying and trusting that he will help us figure our way. I am not innocent in all of this. I
have not really done anything the last few years to give to my husband. I have not tried to nurture him because I have not felt like doing anything caring
towards him. I am now feeling like I want to do things for him and want to build him up, and I believe that is God working through me. I cannot make myself
change the way I feel, but I feel like he is as corny as it sounds.
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K1934 |
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Posts: 1984 (03/04/08 12:26 PM) Registered user |
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chelleforrupert |
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Posts: 8474 (03/04/08 12:31 PM) Registered user |
Jeez. The bible thumping lady really gave you nightmares, huh?
Maybe you are feeling guilty about how you REACTED to way he treated you. Good luck. Did you know Brett Favre retired? |
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MrsSoares |
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Posts: 1047 (03/04/08 1:50 PM) |
Angela in WI wrote: I am very happy to see that Ang... PTL! :) Regardless of what these other shmucks want to say... if you have given it to Him and trust Him then I believe that you have begun to restore your marriage through Him. I am going to PM you the link to my site ( might even be in my profile... not sure) . Yes, He can change us, molds us and makes us what He wants us to be. I too was heavily at fault for the faliure of my marriage but didnt know it (that whole take the log outta your own eye thing meant diddly to me then). And I will keep you, your precious children and your family in my prayers. |
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dragonsilk |
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Posts: 578 (03/04/08 2:28 PM) Registered user |
First off, Hi Gwennie!!!!
Angela, where do you live that is republican in WI? I am sguessing North Milwaukee, like Mequon or River Hills. I agree that you aren't ready to leave yet. I have been married for 13 years this year and we still have great sex (sometimes with each other!!!). It sounds like you need to sort some things out inside yourself first. Like how do you really feel about him. If the answer is that without the kids you would definately not stay with him, then you should leave. but it sounds like the changes he mad towards you are swaying you as well. My parents fought all the time and it was much better when they got a divorce and I was able to have a good stable family life with both of them. was it hard to be separate and go back and forth? Sure but not as bad as watching the fights and abuse. After the divorce there were two stable households that worked together. So just figure out what you want and then do it. The kids will adjust and understand. |
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