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Random Musings:

- I dont care what anyone says, Tyson is fucking 5'2".

- I LOVED Niki Taylor years ago. Sure her face is aging in kind of a bizarre way, but her body is still smoking. She looked hella better when she got rid of those shitty bangs.

- What are they going for here? I guess I'm not to hip on the modeling world. What sort of models? Those cum guzzlers who are in bikinis on Motorcycle magazines are models just the same as the anorexic shitbags who do runway shows for weird as 'concept car' clothes are models. Night and day. So, what are they going for?

- Katy - sorry, she may not be 'runway' material, but she's jerkoff material. See through green eyes. Nice rack. Killer body and cleans up well. If anyone is familiar with a metal band called Nightwish, she reminds me of Tarja (former lead singer). I think she's hot. But I can see how she's not a good fit for that weird runway bullshit.

- Holly - yeah, her hair sucks, but she does photograph well. And she surprisingly had a killer body (and nice rack) during the underwear measure.

- Stephanie - the one that the photographer loved? Are you fucking kidding me? She's average at best. And that horseshit of 'I'm an intellectual. Bitch please. You are a college student (like about 48 billion other unremarkable kids) and a waitress'. An 'intellectual' isnt something you call yourself, its a complement OTHER PEOPLE give you.

- Shannon - she literally walks like she's sitting in a chair. And she has terrible fried hair.

- Jackie - yes, very pretty. Humongous ears. I know she's of mixed race, but it's always weird when you hear a black girl open her mouth and she talks in California 'uptalk' She literally sounds like the Kirsten Wiig character (babe) on the 'Two A-holes' ('you look like a rabbit'). I think she has the most potential. Needs to put on 8 pounds.

- Aryn? She has a double chin and a weird midsection.

- Sarah? Nice face - would do well in a print catalog for something like Hannah Andersson or maybe Orvis. She does have a weird long torso.

- The rest of the chicks? Whatever.

- The dudes? Prison Guard guy. Looks like a monkey. Will have suffer anal rapeage big time as his prison. Why has no one commented on his wife? She was hideous.

- Casey? The kid who looks like the Tarzan guy. He's probably the most marketable, but he needs to hit a gym. Literally has no physique. And all of his 'metaphysical Buddhist' bullshit - gimme a break Derek Zoolander!

- The Frankie kid. Yeah, that's the face of chlamydia.

- Ronnie the gay kid - honestly, I want to punch him in the throat. The whole 'Madonna and Cher - the girls'? Are you a fucking idiot?

- Perry - I think he'll win, but he's got a weird physique. Not overly muscular, but his shoulders go straight across like he's got a 2x4 strapped to them. Not in the way a weightlifer dudes, but he always looks like he's strugging his shoulders. But he 'played hurt' give me a break. You walked down an aisle wearing a speedo in front of some people. You didnt avoid the rush of an 8 man in the box blitz. You didnt scramble and find Randy Moss in the corner of the end zone for the win, you walked down a hallway. Big deal.

- Jay - looks like a weird amalgamation of Wayne Brady, early Michael Jackson, the Haitan from Heroes and Little Richard. No chance. But 'yo man, Tyson is the man yo. Like I had a picher of him on my wall yo'. Ok, reminds me of Oscar in the Office 'outside of having sex with men, the Finer Things Club is the gayest thing I've ever done'

- Tyson is a fucking weenie. Tries to be all street and all playa playa. Dude you're a fucking model. Outside of being a florist or gay porn penis fluffer, a male runway model is probably the gayest profession on earth. Yet, he tries to act all hard. 'Work it'. 'Yo baby, let's do this' 'Yeah, playa, do yo thang'. As if he were coaching on Tom Brady on a two minute drill to win the Superbowl. That'd be like saying 'Yeah, come on baby, I know you gots in it you. Cmon do this thang. Cmon baby, go plant those roses'!!!

I know female models are all flat, but the male model guys literally were all dickless.

This show really is Zoolander. I'm really digging all this horseshit on Bravo.