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maxxfisher wrote:

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Good God his sponsor is fucking hot!!! Where do I get some heroine, I need to get into recovery.

A male will not be able to get a female sponsor in recovery (and vice versa) unless they are gay. The reason for that is the sponsor/sponsee relationship is a very intimate relationship, revealing parts of yourself you have never revealed to another person before - at least honestly. An opposite sex sponsor will almost ALWAYS lead to romance/sex, and then the walls go back up, ruining the sponsor/sponsee relationship that was being established and putting the sponsee basically back at square one, having to find a new sponsor. Oh, it gets done on occasion, but it almost always fails. Almost always.

Also, I am in my 12th year of recovery, clean every day of it (and "clean" includes "sober") and there is NOTHING in the 12 steps about confronting someone who has hurt you in any way so that you can get "closure." The steps are about admitting your own problems and addictions, your own moral failures, your own shortcomings, the ways you have hurt others and making amends for those things, and then continuing to keep your own side of the street clean. It's also about finding your own successes, your strengths, and how to use them so as not to use again. But it is ABSOLUTELY NOT about confronting those who you think may have hurt you. I get cranky every time I see a show use a 12 step program the wrong way because it gives the wrong impression to those not in recovery as "SEE? They're not trying to get clean - they're just trying to find someone to blame for their problems" and it is SO not that in ANY sense of the word.

If Dexter were truly trying to recover from an addiction this "sponsor" would be doing way more damage than good. Clues that she doesn't have any sense about the relationship are when she said she's had "lots of sponsors." In my 12 years I've had 5 sponsors. The first three I had in my first year - 2 relapsed and I let them go so they could concentrate on their own recovery. The third one I had for 3 years until he moved out of state. The 4th one I had for 6 years until he got too ill to help me. He passed away shortly after. My current sponsor - my 5th - I've had for the last 2+ years. It's the long term relationship that makes sponsorship work. The sponsor can see patterns of self-sabotage and dishonesty and call me on it when it begins - BEFORE it causes damage to myself or others. Except for the first two, all of them have had long term recovery (like 15+ years) and have worked all of the steps.

OK, I see I'm rambling atop a soapbox so I'll shut up and step down. But you can expect me to step up here again whenever they get waaaaaaaaay off track of the recovery program like they have. I'll let little stuff go, but the basic building blocks? Um, noe.

aanvari3 wrote:

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Its a tv show. Get over it. And what if your sponser is an orca whale fat old lady? That gonna lead to romance? Nope.

I'll not. And I have seen almost exactly what you are describing. It does, indeed, happen. Speak not of what you know not.