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It's time to give Dick Donato a REAL Sucks welcome!

Feel free to leave him any messages here. Lovers, Haters, and Masterdebators are all welcome. But remember though, he is a real person, so keep it all relatively tame. And that goes for everybody---keep the sexual fantasies to the "I want to have sex with Dick" thread. Try to keep this serious and honest.


Dear Dick,


Welcome back to Sucks! I hope you had a nice time this season in the Big Brother house.

Now it's time to face reality. It wouldn't be Sucks if we didn't welcome each houseguest back with a good-ole-"FUCK YOU". Since there is plenty of love for you to be found elsewhere, and certainly in the posts to follow in this thread, I'm going to start things off with some hating and discuss some of your less redeeming qualities. So I've put together a little dose of hate-or-rade.

But first (to quote Miss Julie Chicken) I have to compliment you and say that you represented this board well--by embodying the total white trash "I'm-a-sick-fuck" mentality that 66.6% of posters here have. In the house, you flamed, you gamed, you spat, and you were a rat. You played the way a real Suckster would, and for that, I must commend you.

I really was a fan of you the first week. I found you hilarious, entertaining, and one of the best things to happen to Big Brother. Then things started to go downhill from there. You started freaking out at people for no real reason. You started becoming paranoid about everything, everyone--with the exception of your daughter. Your gamesmanship hit an all time low when you, in one of your many fits of rage, yelled that you were going to "rape Jen in the ass until she bleeds".

Dude, that's just not cool--I don't care how much of a superficial fuck Jen is, but rape is a serious crime. And just because your groupthinking Jen-hating houseguests let you get away with it, it doesn't mean it's okay: you don't threaten to rape people. So I've got to ask, what the hell was up with that? If you hadn't made that one comment, I probably would have stayed a Dick fan to the end.

Now that the scolding is out of the way, I'll just get to the flaming. First of all, your gameplay was effective but messy. Some people here think you're the greatest thing since bread--hell, they want to make more babies with you (because Daniele isn't vile enough of an offspring--I'm sorry, I'll really try to refrain my comments about Daniele in this post because I realize she's your daughter. But seriously, if she decides to not talk to you for another 2 years, consider that a blessing.) Evicting Nick was one of the many dumb moves made this season. Furthermore, your strategy of pissing people off only made people hate you. The only reason that it worked is a) Amber is retarded b) Jameka couldn't win HOH and c) There were external forces at play. I'll expand on point C later.

Gameplay was the last of your issues, though. For realz, man...you've got issues. A lot of them. And now that you're at least $50,000 richer (hopefully $500,000--I don't know at the time of writing this) you'll be able to afford a therapist to sort some of your shit out and maybe become a slightly-less-pernicious human being.

I think you already know that you're vile, so I won't waste time. And quite honestly, I don't care so much about that...that's what made you a great character on TV. That being said, you might want to consider some therapy for all that aggression. It ain't healthy for the body, and you've already got those cigarettes working against you--so if you plan to be a lifelong addict, therapy for anger-management could be useful.

But yeah, let's look at your other issues.

For starters, you seem to have short-term memory issues. During these last few weeks of the game you (and Daniele for that matter) delusionally stated that you had "never betrayed anyone in this game". Except for Nick in Week 4 (YOU wanted him on the block, not Jameka, remember?) And Eric in Week 5 (at the time, he had no plans to take you out). And then Jen in Week 7 (believe it or not, she actually had your back). And Jessica in Week 9. Heck, all you did this season was betray people...and that's good. That's how you play the game. So why wouldn't you just ADMIT to yourself at the end that you betrayed half the cast? Was your brain just malfunctioning when you acted like Zach betraying you guys was some great injustice?

And if you don't need a therapist for being vile or having memory issues--well, you're going to need one when you learn the truth: The producers rigged the game this season. A lot. A ton more than usual. Jameka was wrong...God wasn't choosing a winner. It was that little slut Allison Grodner (btw I'm pretty sure she wants to make babies with you too--I don't know if she's too chunky to be your type, but consider it). Originally they were favoring Eric in the early stages of the game, and definitely manipulated Jameka, Dustin, and Amber into keeping them in Week 5. Similarly, they convinced Eric to ally with you guys and get Dustin evicted (while they let him target Nick and Mike instead of Kail during Weeks 3 and 4 without any issues). It wasn't your smarts: it was their manipulation. It doesn't really matter I suppose because either way you walk out with money--but if Eric hadn't stayed there and let the AP do its thing, there's no way you'd have gotten anywhere near the final 2. Jen would have outlasted you. Sorry man if this makes your ego implode, but it's just the truth.

So anyways, I really hope things work out for you and Vincent. I'm sure your bar/club or whatever it is is going to be getting a hell of a lot more business because of your appearance on the show, so I'm actually quite sure things will work out for you even if you don't win the big money. BTW there may or may not be a subtle hint there in an omission of somebody...but really either way, you had things work out for you on the show, and I wish you good luck.

Just don't assume that because some fuckers on the internet orgasmed over your freedom to act like a douche for an entire summer that 2 years from now anybody is going to give a damn that you were in the final 2 of Big Brother.

Sincerely,
Me.


P.S. Send my regards to Daniele "This is sooooooo fruuuussttrraaaatiiiiiiiing nobody understaaaaaaaaands what I'm going through!" Donato, assuming she doesn't decide to run off with her fagboyfriend and hide for another 2 years.