It's taken me exactly seven years to the day to reach my 5000th Sucks post. I figure that's as good a time as any to say my goodbyes.
I found this place looking for Survivor spoilers during its first season. I lurked for ages before signing up. I've been an under the radar poster for these past seven years, so a self-promoting goodbye thread seems a little unusual for me.
Thanks to this place, though, I met and married the smartest, funniest and hottest girl around. For that, I'll be forever grateful. I guess I have nothing else to accomplish here. Because, in a way...
...I won OT.
To those that have entertained me and made me laugh, many thanks. There are some smart kids around here, and I've always appreciated that.
To the haters, those who don't know me, and the trolls, go fuck yourselves. Please continue to post threads about whatever inane thought that pops into your head, simply because you like seeing your username on the screen. Trust me, no one cares what's in your backyard, or what your home renovations look like. No one cares who your favorite Dawson's Creek actor is. No one cares about your ferret. Don't bother trolling me for a response, either...you won't be getting one.
Before I go, however, I'd like to share some thoughts:
- Please, people...stop watching "Family Guy." It's the worst fucking show ever.
"This is better/worse/more embarrassing/wetter than the time I gave Scott Baio a sponge bath/kissed Alf/insert pointless and random 80s pop culture or Star Wars reference here."
- If your post count has five digits in it, turn off your computer and go outside for a while. Get some exercise. Eat an apple. Talk to real people.
- My favorite seven words of the year so far? "Tonight, on the Million Dollar Listing finale..."
- Just because a word ends in 's,' doesn't mean it needs an apostrophe. Also, please learn the difference between "its" and "it's." Just say "it is" in your head when typing. Does it make sense in the context of your post? Yes? Then "it's" is the way to go. Morons.
- The Vegas buffet is no longer the deal it once was. If you're paying $17 for a lunch buffet, I can guarantee you a better entree at a restaurant for the same price...and that entree hasn't been sitting in a steam tray for the past two hours.
- While I'm on the Vegas theme...if you're sitting at a $1/$2 Hold 'Em table at Bally's on a Tuesday afternoon, take off your fucking sunglasses. You're the laughingstock of the table. You're not a pro poker player, and you never will be. Besides, I'm not looking at your eyes anyway. I'm watching your hands and your betting patterns...and I can tell you just missed your flush.
- Speaking of poker, if you want to win a WSOP bracelet, start playing games other than Hold 'Em. EVERYONE plays Hold 'Em. Try Razz. It's fun, but not a lot of people enjoy it. I talked to a sponsored poker pro last year...he's won over $330,000 and has a second-place finish at the WSOP. He said he'd never played a hand of Razz in his life.
- I fucking hate you people for not watching "Arrested Development." Inbred trash...enjoy another season of "According to Jim."
- Cornbread. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
- We get it. You're gay.
- I got a PM from Zeep once. We talked about our shared love for Greg Maddux. That was the only time an Admin talked to me in this place.
- You ever notice that when a white guy is trying to describe a black guy who isn't a gangsta or a thug, the first adjective the white guy will use is "articulate." This is especially true of sportscasters.
- Oh yeah...if the football doesn't change direction, it's not a "reverse." It's an "end around." The ball has to actually change direction for it to be called a "reverse." You'd think former NFL players-turned-broadcasters would know this. They don't.
- Your favorite sports team may be better than mine. My favorite band may be better than yours. Your city may be nicer than mine. My favorite TV show may be better than yours. It doesn't fucking matter. Get over it.
- I predict this thread gets no more than 14 legitimate replies. People saying "who?" and typing the word "enough" in a large font don't count. And they never will.
- Sorry I'm leaving, Zipp, but we hang out in real life. We don't need to hang out here anymore.
Word up.
I found this place looking for Survivor spoilers during its first season. I lurked for ages before signing up. I've been an under the radar poster for these past seven years, so a self-promoting goodbye thread seems a little unusual for me.
Thanks to this place, though, I met and married the smartest, funniest and hottest girl around. For that, I'll be forever grateful. I guess I have nothing else to accomplish here. Because, in a way...
...I won OT.
To those that have entertained me and made me laugh, many thanks. There are some smart kids around here, and I've always appreciated that.
To the haters, those who don't know me, and the trolls, go fuck yourselves. Please continue to post threads about whatever inane thought that pops into your head, simply because you like seeing your username on the screen. Trust me, no one cares what's in your backyard, or what your home renovations look like. No one cares who your favorite Dawson's Creek actor is. No one cares about your ferret. Don't bother trolling me for a response, either...you won't be getting one.
Before I go, however, I'd like to share some thoughts:
- Please, people...stop watching "Family Guy." It's the worst fucking show ever.
"This is better/worse/more embarrassing/wetter than the time I gave Scott Baio a sponge bath/kissed Alf/insert pointless and random 80s pop culture or Star Wars reference here."
- If your post count has five digits in it, turn off your computer and go outside for a while. Get some exercise. Eat an apple. Talk to real people.
- My favorite seven words of the year so far? "Tonight, on the Million Dollar Listing finale..."
- Just because a word ends in 's,' doesn't mean it needs an apostrophe. Also, please learn the difference between "its" and "it's." Just say "it is" in your head when typing. Does it make sense in the context of your post? Yes? Then "it's" is the way to go. Morons.
- The Vegas buffet is no longer the deal it once was. If you're paying $17 for a lunch buffet, I can guarantee you a better entree at a restaurant for the same price...and that entree hasn't been sitting in a steam tray for the past two hours.
- While I'm on the Vegas theme...if you're sitting at a $1/$2 Hold 'Em table at Bally's on a Tuesday afternoon, take off your fucking sunglasses. You're the laughingstock of the table. You're not a pro poker player, and you never will be. Besides, I'm not looking at your eyes anyway. I'm watching your hands and your betting patterns...and I can tell you just missed your flush.
- Speaking of poker, if you want to win a WSOP bracelet, start playing games other than Hold 'Em. EVERYONE plays Hold 'Em. Try Razz. It's fun, but not a lot of people enjoy it. I talked to a sponsored poker pro last year...he's won over $330,000 and has a second-place finish at the WSOP. He said he'd never played a hand of Razz in his life.
- I fucking hate you people for not watching "Arrested Development." Inbred trash...enjoy another season of "According to Jim."
- Cornbread. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
- We get it. You're gay.
- I got a PM from Zeep once. We talked about our shared love for Greg Maddux. That was the only time an Admin talked to me in this place.
- You ever notice that when a white guy is trying to describe a black guy who isn't a gangsta or a thug, the first adjective the white guy will use is "articulate." This is especially true of sportscasters.
- Oh yeah...if the football doesn't change direction, it's not a "reverse." It's an "end around." The ball has to actually change direction for it to be called a "reverse." You'd think former NFL players-turned-broadcasters would know this. They don't.
- Your favorite sports team may be better than mine. My favorite band may be better than yours. Your city may be nicer than mine. My favorite TV show may be better than yours. It doesn't fucking matter. Get over it.
- I predict this thread gets no more than 14 legitimate replies. People saying "who?" and typing the word "enough" in a large font don't count. And they never will.
- Sorry I'm leaving, Zipp, but we hang out in real life. We don't need to hang out here anymore.
Word up.
